Was " emo " a phase, or a way for some of us to cope?

Emo, is said to be both a style of music and a subculture. Bands like My Chemical Romance, Panic! At the Disco and Dashboard Confessional, punk-rock like bands with " emotional " lyrics were present at the start of this emo subculture. Kids dressed in black, dyed hair, almost Gothic like fashion were among those called Emo. Usually, teens who were " outcasts " or not in the popular cliques were the types who would form emo cliques and group together.

Recently I joined a Facebook group that celebrated the nostalgia of 2005. Interestingly a majority of thousands of members in this group (including me!) fit into the emo crowd. Some people felt it was more a phase for them, some feeling like they are still emo today. Through some threads, I became very curious about the reasons we attracted towards this subculture. I heard many stories from many people that made me want to reach through the computer and hug them because of the lives that they have lived. I truly believe that many of us who did fit into this emo thing, had gone through a lot in our childhood and teen years. Our favorite bands sang songs of pain that we could relate to, and when we found others like us we did group together for support.

Now I know that there are exceptions. There are kids who liked the style of clothing, or liked the music and you know how trends are. Some kids gravitated towards the style because of a favorite band, or celebrity that was also into the emo subculture. I am not saying that everyone who was/is emo, went through trauma, bullying or the like.

I asked a question in this group because I wanted to get a real idea of what kind of past the emo kids had. What made them gravitate towards each other? What made them feel the pain that made others look at them as emotional? For me, I went through a lot as a kid and teen. From bullying because of my disabilities, to a mom who ran off, to an abusive stepmom who made me feel worthless and hate myself. " Emo " music really spoke to me. It made me feel not so alone, like others hurt too. Though I didn't really talk about my home life, there were a couple people at school who were like me that I stayed around. I wasn't really able to pick out the clothes that I wanted (Not that she'd of let me wear them) so I didn't get to dress the part but I did feel it. I still do. I dealt with more trauma and abuse as an adult so this "emo" feeling kind of stuck. I feel like it is very close to depression.

I got many responses that were different in their own cases but alike in the pain that these people felt. I hurt for them. Many people had gone through bullying. Many had gone through sexual or physical abuse. Some went through trauma. Some felt exiled because of their sexual orientation or because they felt the gender that they were born with wasn't who they were.

For those of us who felt these things, we were usually outcasts. We didn't " fit " with everyone else. We had seen things.. been through things.. felt things that made us feel alone and kept us in pain. I have always thought that music was not only a great distraction, or a way of expression but it made us feel not so alone when we could relate to it. I think that's a large reason why we attracted to these bands and wanted to dress like them. It wasn't always about a trend or fad, but we felt like we finally fit in somewhere. We felt like someone understood.

I'm sorry if this post was a bit all over the place, my anxiety is being weird thinking of all of this. All of you reading who have gone through similar things I hug you from afar.

Its okay to still be emo. Its okay to listen to the Emo station on Pandora even though you're now 30 years old. Go ahead and scream out " AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET?! " while doing the dishes. We won't judge.

♥ Meows