My letter I wrote my neighbour before I left
Enough With Your Rotten Walls and Bushy Walls
Dear Mr Black,
I have always felt frustrated living near to you. You are the most smelly neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud music.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your walls is too rotten and your walls way too bushy. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a ladder
I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud music from upsetting me. I demand that you sell the dog then cut down the hedge.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your broken fence increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a peaceful neighbourhood like Little Oakley.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the council and post photos of your loud music on Goodreads.
Furthermore, I have close ties with thugs and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
memeon

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