My letter I wrote my neighbour before I left
Enough With Your Rotten Walls and Smelly Hedge Trimmer
Dear Ms Smith,
I have always felt proud living near to you. You are the most crazy neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud singing.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your walls is too rotten and your hedge trimmer way too smelly. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a dog collar
I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud singing from upsetting me. I demand that you clean up then take the fence down.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your broken fence increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a happy neighbourhood like Daffidol Meadow.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the council and post photos of your loud singing on Instagram.
Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
memeon

This post has received a 1.47 % upvote from @speedvoter thanks to: @kappablanca.