My letter I wrote my neighbour before I left

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                                Enough With Your Tall Dog and Tall Hedge
                            
        Dear Mrs Davis,

I have always felt ecstatic living near to you. You are the most naughty neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your untidy hedge.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your dog is too tall and your hedge way too tall. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a paint brush

I have to insist that you take action to stop your untidy hedge from upsetting me. I demand that you train the dog then varnish the fence.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your drum playing increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a respectable neighbourhood like Rose Close.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the coast guard and post photos of your untidy hedge on Tumblr.

Furthermore, I have close ties with thugs and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
memeon