A letter to my neighbour

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                                Enough With Your Smelly Dog and Tall Hedge Trimmer
                            
        Dear Peter,

I have always felt overjoyed living near to you. You are the most lonely neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your inconsiderate dog.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your dog is too smelly and your hedge trimmer way too tall. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a can opener

I have to insist that you take action to stop your inconsiderate dog from upsetting me. I demand that you paint the fence then clean up.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your untidy hedge increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a classy neighbourhood like Daffidol Meadow.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the coast guard and post photos of your inconsiderate dog on Pinterest.

Furthermore, I have close ties with gangsters and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
memeon