A letter to all those terribly annoying neighbours out there

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                                Enough With Your Dirty Hedge Trimmer and Tall Walls
                            
        Dear Mr Smith,

I have always felt ecstatic living near to you. You are the most spotty neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your barking dog.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your hedge trimmer is too dirty and your walls way too tall. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a dog collar

I have to insist that you take action to stop your barking dog from upsetting me. I demand that you rehome to dog then take the fence down.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your untidy hedge increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a classy neighbourhood like Little Oaks.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the neighbourhood watch and post photos of your barking dog on Instagram.

Furthermore, I have close ties with the mafia and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
memeon