The Blacks
Do you like the blacks?
A voice breathed in my ear as I was perusing the fine beer selection in my favourite beer shop.
I beg your pardon?
I said with no little disapproval. Was someone going full-on racist? Was I about to be dragged from the shop and hung from a tree or set on fire because of my penchant for gangsta rap?
I like em. I love a bit of black I do.
I turned to see who was uttering such awful bile.
Oh. It's you.
It was the Bear-Man. He was smirking bushily through his survivalist's beard. He had a fearsome gleam in his eye and my brown eye clenched shut in terror as I realised that perhaps with all the sun this summer, the Bear-Man thought that I was black and he was angling to angrily insert his penis into me.
Was I doomed to be the Bear-Wife?
Aye, it's me. And today, am all about the BLACK!
The Bear-Man did a strange little jig in the middle of the shop floor, ending with what might have been a twirl on a lesser bellied person.
I stared at him aghast.
I don't think you can really go about saying things like that?
I said tentatively.
Eh? Aye, I can?
Grizzled the Bear-Man with a puzzled frown.
Yes, I know you can but I don't think you maybe should?
I raised my voice up at the end in the way of young Australian's.
The Bear-Man lurched toward me and I was reminded of how fearsomely huge he actually was. I scanned for a big can on the shelf that I could grab and throw like a cannon.
Are you telling me you seriously don't like the blacks?
Ah, he was trying to turn this whole debacle on me. Well, I was more than equal to the task.
I love black people. I love ALL people, the colour of their skin matters not a jot to me. This world has enough problems without all that shit.
I stated proudly, one of my hands sneaking out from my side and placing itself satisfyingly on my hip as if I were a statue of some swashbuckling figure of old.
Eh, what you talking about? I mean Black IPAs? You like em?
Ah.
I felt my face redden and whipped my hand off my hip.
Erm, yeah. I sometimes like them.
I muttered, refusing to meet his eye.
Aye, well. I've got a couple of crackers if you want to have a look...
He paused.
Not everything's about race you know?
Aye, indeed.
I took my beers and hightailed it out of the not-racist Bear-Man's shop.
This post is manually curated by @azizbd and received an upvote from @SchoolForSDG4
School For SDG4
A School For Social and Educational Development of Underprivileged Children
I did a thing in honour of this bold dark humour... I seriously lol multiple times whilst ignoring my wife's story in the background until she said its not that funny, and I realised she was attempting to regale me and without thinking I said "oh yours isn't funny at all"
Off to the couch in the doghouse I go.. This meme might get me in more trouble but here goes nothing!
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Hehe, I have done the very same thing when my wife had been nattering away in the background. Only, it's get foreground... Lol!!!
Love the meme!!! :0F
Nattering wives, gangsta rap and an affinity for the blacks! We would definitely get on just fine lol
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Hahaha!! It sounds like it!!!
Extended the dots, can never be enough!
10% I hear, looking forward to the straight faced reviews of these black beauties you picked up around the corner.
10%!! No let up for me! It's getting so that normal beer won't be cutting the mustard anymore. I'm going on holiday too in a month and will be on the Estrella's!!
Ha. Nice. I'll assume I inspired the upspeak line?
Hahaha z yes indeed you did!!! ;0)
Lol, your white privilege is brimming over in this story 😉
I love it when u can see where a story is going from the beginning but it's still satisfying at the end despite the 'Sherlock Holmes' esque plot guessing. I thought the final paragraphs were going to be about Guinness so ya got me with the black IPA.
Great story 👍
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Hehe, a black IPA. Two in fact, one of them is 10% madness, hopefully in a good way.
Lol, I like to try and let people on :0D
O yes here in SA somebody would have been upset or offended who has a thin skin and still keeps on living in the past........ Hope you enjoy your blacks/
I am looking forward to them, the countdown is on!!
I got yelled at the other day because someone asked me if I agreed with Black Lives Matter and I said "Of course I do, all lives matter" apparently All Lives Matter us a whole other thing and it's taken as a slap in the face, wtf??? What is wrong with this world??
It is seen as a slap in the face!! I heard something similar recently. White privilege!!! :0D
People need to realize it's not a race thing, it's a class thing. Besides, color of skin is not what makes people different, culture is what makes people different. People are so dumb lol
They are, but they get pitted against each other and cannot even see it happening
I love the fact that there is the word "aye" in you and Bear-Man's vocabulary. It is a good word, us Americans should start using it again. We generally only use it when pretending to be pirates. Not that I pretend to be a pirate...very often.
Aye, is fabulous. It's and the North of England folk use it all the time. It's funny when the southerners hear it, they are baffled!
RoFL! I hope you were exaggerating that for comedic effect as I don't even like beer and I automatically assumed he was talking about black coloured beer because you were in a beer shop XD
Also I'm getting more convinced you've got a thing for Bear Man XP
I was totally exaggerating heh heh. When he did it at first I was like, got damn, imagine if he was a mental racist and was trying it out!!
Lol, and I most surely do not, too hairy!!! :0D
haha! Howdy sir meesterboom! "I stared at him aghast." lol..so funny. And look how limber meesterboom is on the artwork!
Hehe, I can still knock out a bit of a stretch when I have to!!
Yeah, who said anything about getting old!? lol.