Patterns
My family popped up for their Christmas visit today. It was a fine old time we had. I ran about like a blue-arsed fly as they say and everyone sat and laughed heartily at little old me waiting on everyone hand and foot.
The family think I am posh. Mostly because I no longer live in the stabby stabby, fighty fighty area that I grew up in. When they visit my house in the burbs which is smaller than theirs. They gaze around them in wonder and fear as if being escorted around a gentleman's manor.
I wait on them hand and foot and try to make them as relaxed as I can.
Today was going exceptionally well. They had arrived and I had quickly hustled them in before they could start doffing their caps and apologising for being damp and poor.
I cracked out the beers and a 14-year-old Jamaican rum that I know my Dad likes.
We drank and chatted and passed around the little boom who was taking some time out from yelling to fill his nappy with chicken tikka.
All was going well. I could read the body language and see that they were starting to relax and not being all tense from being in the posh son's house.
Then the little lady decided to betray me.
She waltzed in and holding out some grapes, said.
Daddy, can we put these in the Larder?
I looked at her in amusement.
Erm, we don't have a larder darling. Where on earth did you get word from?
Ok, I will put them in the 'kitchen.'
She winked at me and headed into the kitchen.
I laughed, at least until I saw the sidelong glances that were being exchanged among my family. I could read what they were saying. The glances were all like ooo, he has a larder, ooo fancy dan boom has a larder!!
I don't have a larder. In fact, I am not entirely sure what a larder is but I have never cared enough to look it up.
We chatted about other things. Once again, I managed to put them at ease. My dad as usual asked,
What is it you do again son?
He has asked me this every time I have seen him for the last twenty years. I always answer in exactly the same way. I hold my hands out in front of me tapping at an imaginary keyboard and say computers.
At that, the whole family nod sagely and repeat it back as if they know what I am talking about.
Computers... Ahhhh.
Straight after telling him I worked with computers, complete with imaginary typing action I changed the subject to get back on familiar ground. The little lady came back in.
Daddy, have you told them we are reading 'Witches?'
Oh no lass, I hadn't. You can tell them!
She stood there and posed dramatically, holding her hands wide. My family looked on entranced.
We are reading 'Witches!' I love it!!
What do you love most about it?
Asked my dear old mum, sweating slightly because she probably needed the toilet but was too scared to ask if she could use ours.
I love the patterns of intrigue in it!
Shouted the little lady.
My family collectively jolted in shock.
I rolled my eyes at their visible flinching.
Oh well. I may as well get the fancy pipe out and start shouting about fox hunting.
me alegra mucho que sus padres lo visiten y compartan juntos, son especiales estos días porque se unen los vínculos familiares, Saludos amigo, sígala pasando bien, Bendiciones para su familia.
es un tiempo fantástico Te deseo una gran felicidad festiva !!
The Roald Dahl book?
I have to agree with the Little Miss - the patterns of intrigue are woven with such expertise! My children loved the works of Roald Dahl and I'm impressed that your little ones are heading down the same path. Well done that Boom!
I can imagine your family collectively jolting in shock too.
I find a good phrase to shout is:
"Get Orf My Land!"
The Roald Dahl ones indeed! She loves them. They all start with parents dying but once you get psat that its all good.
I will remember to be shouting that! hehe :O)
Yeah... James and The Giant Peach starts similarly, so maybe avoid that for a while... don't want to set a pattern ;)
Lol, we have done them all. I think that is why it was noticeable. Almost every one they either due or are as mean as fuck!
hahahaha my family understands even less about "what I do for a living"
hahahahhahaha I haven't even talked to anyone in my birth family in like 5 years.....
Cheers!
Sometimes I am tempted to do the same and just call it quits. We are separated by a vast gulf!
Has fancy pipe, isn't afraid to use it. I'll admit I've never even tried fox, but it must be tasty stuff the way it's spoken of in those higher circles.
It must be and just think of the fancy clothing items you can fashion from the fur!
As yukky as I feel today, that made me laugh out loud ... larder ... LOL! I think the little lady has much of Boom's humour in her! Thanks for the fun post, I needed that! :)
She does have it in spades!! :0)
Very entertaining ... having children is not for sissies. My son, when still a teenager, would love to tell guests (as opposed to friends) about the vervet monkey with big blue balls which sat in our tree trying to lick his privates.
Hahahahaha!! That would be quite the one to try and recover from!!!
Man these spam comments are out of control aren't they?
Anyway, now I'm thinking about how many crypto people just explain their occupation as "computers" to their clueless family, and that x1000 is a pretty funny image.
Oh they totally are!!
Hehe, I can only imagine trying to explain crypto but yeah, it would probably be exactly like that lol!!!
I love her! what a hoot. Seems to me she's a VERY good listener. WIll do her well in life ;-)
Now go fetch yer slippers and don't forget to let the hounds out!
The hounds are being released right now! She is a hoot. I am constantly amazed by her despite her amazingness sometimes being a tiny bit challenging!
Ha ha, I face your situation in reverse, my family thinks I am turning into a hillbilly.
Haha, that's awesome. I can imagine its pretty much the same reactions but a different direction they think we are heading in!
Ahahaha! The little lady really knows how to betray you at just the right moment, Boomtube! You have taught her well! I'm thinking it must be the moisturiser that cements the fanciness of it all haha! At least you didn't serve craft beers, or you would've never heard the end of it.
I keep getting asked the same thing, only for me it's where I work. I always tell people I work at home, and everyone's at awe of the wonders of the internet, technology and such. But really, I'm just unemployed haha!
I think if I worked at home and told my family that they would just assume I had lost my job and wasnt facing up to the situation!! Lol!!
I suspect it is the moisturiser, a moist face works wonders!! :O)