Mikey

Some time ago, I was walking back from the coffee shop, coffee in hand.

Hey BoomDawg! How goes it?

I looked up, a dude in my work was walking toward me with a big smile on his face. I knew him. Kind of. I definitely knew him. Yeah, it was... It was... that dude. Oh damn. I couldn't remember his name?

Too late though, my mouth had engaged like a crypto-kitty eating Etherium biscuits.

Hey, Barrmf?..

Barrmf stopped, an annoyed look on his face.

It's Brian, man? Brian! Come on man, every time?! Why can't you remember my name, we worked together on the big Oracle Upgrade a couple of years ago, remember?

I grinned whilst trying not to look sheepish which made me look as if I was suffering a debilitating stroke.

Ha! Of course! Brian man! Gotta run, catch you later.

I walked on.

As I got into work I thought about poor thingmybob. He was right, I had forgotten his name countless times. It just seemed to slip through my grasp for whatever reason.

Like the time I had bumped into him in the toilet.

Hey Boomdawg.

Hey Joe.

Brian had looked at me incredulously.

No man, Joe was the guy who sat beside me?! It's Brian!

I had laughed manically.

Of course man, silly me. Sorry, been a long day.

He had given me a look as if I had left him in a car on a hot sunny afternoon.

Or there was the time I had bumped into him on the stairs.

Alright BoomDawg!

I had looked up in surprise and realised that I had no idea who he was. At least, my brain had no idea, my mouth on the other hand kicked into gear and before I could clamp it shut, opened and started flapping like a tent on a windswept moor.

Oh hey... Mrrmmmbb?

I had mumbled the last bit hoping that it might have passed for any old name.

He had looked at me with no little disdain, like he had caught me farting in his coffee cup.

It's bloody Brian, mate. Fuck sake.

Then there was the time we had been in a meeting together. He had looked at me sulkily over the table.

Hello BoomDawg.

I looked back at him.

This time. This time I knew it. I tilted my head up in a smug nod.

Yo... Erm... Umra... umb... Barb??

He made a mournful noise like a dog trapped in a cellar.

Brian.

He said flatly.

This plainly could not go on. Most people have the decency not to get all chips in their knickers if I can't remember their name but this one. Hmm, he was a problem.

One thing they say about me though is that I approach a problem head-on.

The next time I saw him I lifted my head up high.

He saw me coming. I saw a mix of emotions on his face. He was obviously deciding whether or not to even say hello seeing as how I couldn't ever remember who he was.

I grasped the bull by the horns.

Alright Mikey!

I drawled.

He stopped dead in his tracks. For a moment I thought he was going to punch me.

He looked incredulous.

Mikey?! Mikey?!?! It's fucking Brian?!

I tutted.

You think they will let you get away with that kind of talk in Prison, Mikey?

He shook his head and walked on muttering something about someone being a bastard.

I carried on with a spring in my step.

Poor Mikey. He had a lot to learn.