I Promise
It's too big!!
I wailed.
Take it! Take it! Open your mouth wider!
Urged my colleague, BinJuice as he towered manfully over me.
I looked up at him through bulging teary eyes, as my mouth stretched to bursting in an effort to accommodate the big parcel of meat he was nudging into my mouth...
.
Some time earlier...
Hey dude, have you saw that there is somewhere to eat nearby after all?
Shouted my colleague, BinJuice.
It was shortly before lunch and we were sat in the new office complex which was thoughtfully placed in the middle of an industrial estate.
Which had absolutely no eating facilities nearby whatsoever. Only one small shitty Van that sold substandard coffee at huge prices.
What? Really??
I said disbelievingly.
We had been in the new office for a while now and everyone had been forced to forage as best as they could among the cupboards and fridges of their homes for supplies to help them through the long night that was your average day in work.
Yeah, a little Mexican Street food place. You should see the size of their Burrito Grande, it's massive!!!
A Burrito!! And Grande!? Oh man, let's go!!
My eyes shone with excitement and my voice rose in pitch to the point that stray dogs came running to see if there were legs to hump with their dirty dog penises.
BinJuice led me off through a maze of dilapidated streets until we arrived at a filthy looking Mexican food joint.
It looks a bit shit, mate.
I ventured.
Trust me, BoomDawg! You won't say that in a minute!
He chuckled and led me in.
A short time later we stumbled out, stinking of beef, large greasy parcels of meat in our hands.
And so it was I found myself back in the office trying to eat the. Burrito Grande with my mere mortal mouth.
I can't fit it in!?!
I squealed.
BinJuice tutted.
Stretch your mouth more?
It hurts!?
Just push it in!?
He urged, once again nudging the bottom of my burrito parcel.
I yelped as the underside of the burrito burst and jetted out some hot greasy cheesy stuff onto my hands.
Oh no! It's burst!
I cried.
Fuck sake, man. I expected better from you.
BinJuice shook his head sadly.
I'll get it all in my mouth next time?!
I whimpered apologetically as BinJuice stomped off in disgust.
I promise!
I yelled after him.
I mopped the mess on my hands up.
I promise!
I always thought you had a big mouth. As you get older it becomes easier as you can just remove the false teeth and you can gum it. I am sure you will be dreaming of gumming some big burrito tonight when you go to bed.
I would be except I did manage to eat the fucker and now the only thing I will be taking to bed is the meat sweats!!
Those are quite decent if I remember right. Like coconut slices with loads of sugar. I think Indian cuisine has meat sweets so maybe it wasn't a genuine Mexican lol.
Lol, the chances of it being a genuine Mexican in Glasgow are quite slim right enough!!
An Indian drinking Sol will be close enough I suppose.
That would be more like it!
I can just imagine what the people on the other side of the door were thinking. It is always the filthy looking places that has the best food haha.... sometimes you just have to close your eyes and stuff it in your mouth.
Hahaha, yes, that is exactly what you have to do!! It was a fine thing in the end up!
Now that I've recovered from the agonising laughter, honestly do you not know how to bite things smaller XD
But how when they aretoo big!! :0D
Use your incisors and make a hole that's what they're for XD
Gaaar, that's just filthy madness!!
Did you use two hands?? This is not a one hand job deal. Ask anybody!
!tip
HAHAHAHA!!! Ah indeed. I had to use two hands!!!
Oh, my!!! That IS a big burrito! Good luck!
Hehe it sure was!
OMG when i first started reading ...I was like Booms in prison they got him!....then I read on frantically.... a Burrito?...a huge one ....lol
upvoted and resteemed
Hehe, there isn't a prison strong enough! :0D
Think back to your youth, it could have been one of the many girls you took out saying those sort of things. Although, the last thing you would have wanted was them to actually use their teeth and really bite.
Or, maybe, that is how you got the hi squeaky voice you were claiming the other day.
My high squeaky voice is merely a talent! ;0)
Thanks for the reminder of months to come! I'll be prepping my food for the day either the night before or at 6:30 am. Fack!
Aw man, you have the joy ahead of you. I am sure your place of work will be in a cool bit with lots if funky bars and cafes though!!!
After you surpass this "ordeal", the next step is to fit the burrito in your mouth plus two meatballs, for science of course xD
Last time I went to all you can eat buffet the guys that were with me ordered too much food, the owner of the restaurant told us that we either eat it all or we had to pay for everything, oh god the mistake that man did, I started eating like a maniac, one bite and half a triple hamburger was gone xD good times....
HAHAHA, I'm yes, sheerly for science that will have to be done! :0D
I normally like stuffing my face as kind as the good is in an easily stuffable form!
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