A blessing, when working in a busy IT department, is being privy to the deep and profound philosophical conversations that go on. Today, I was lucky enough to overhear and engage in one such discussion when the serious and important subject of odd socks was broached.

Read on and be enlightened as I was...

That is never problem for me. All I own are black Pringles socks!

A chap who sat nearby, Skork, loudly proclaimed.

He looked about at the folk surrounding him. His face gleaming with the smugness of the never-wrong.

So I can never have odd socks.

He emphasised.

Beside him, a Java developer, Bongdirt almost barfed a mouthful of tea out in disbelief.

Your lying. I can see a problem right away with that.

Retorted BongDirt equally as smugly.

Skork scoffed.

What? How can there be a problem? There is no problem. Every day I just pick up two black socks. No stress, no hassle.

Bongdirt's upper lip curled up in a sneer like a dried up piece of bread.

No problem eh?...

He gathered himself up as if preparing to mount an unfeasibly wide butt-plug.

What about when you are wearing sandals on holiday? Are you telling me you wear black socks with your holiday sandals? Your feet would get roasting hot!?

By now I was almost fainting at the horror of this conversation. Grimly, I held on to my sanity and attempted not to join in this most ridiculous if debates.

Yes, I wear black socks with my sandals.

Declared Skork proudly.

Yer arse. Nobody wears black socks with sandals.

Bellowed BongDirt indignantly.

It was too much. My mouth pulled away from my brain's control.

Nobody should fucking wear socks with sandals.

I honked loudly.

The two dimwits jerked in surprise at this interruption and they both rotated their heads slowly in my direction, looking at me like angry hippos at a watering hole.

Are you seriously saying that you wear sandals without socks?

Demanded Skork.

I made a flubbery noise with the sexy man lips on my face.

I wear flip-flops. I don't wear fucking sandals because I am under sixty but if I did I wouldn't wear fucking socks. Fuck sake.

I tutted and looked at the pair with disdain.

Skork looked disgustedly back at me, as if I were a dirty bird that had gotten into his bathroom.

No offense BoomDawg but you're just weird then.

He turned back to Bongdirt.

I actually wear sports sandals because you can run backwards in them.

Oh really!

Marvelled BongDirt

I winced.

Because you can run backwards!?

I reached for my headphones and shook my head, time to bomb out of this insanity.