Hard Choices
Boxing Day. Dark clouds bruised the turgid sky above me. I pulled my collar up against the sleety hail and pressed on.
The words of the good lady still rang in my ears.
Oh no, there's no milk for the coffee!?
I had stormed into the kitchen with a face like a chihuahua's toffee maker.
No milk? How could this be allowed to happen?
She had flapped her hands around like a sad chicken.
I don't know, we got everything else but forgot to stock up on that.
I shook my head.
Damn. I suppose I could go to the corner shop, see if it's open?
I looked out the window at the bleak skies and the rain.
It looked rubbish outside. Cold, miserable and wet. Like a Welsh wedding.
There must be some other way surely? Then it came to me.
We only need milk for coffee though, right?
The good lady nodded, her face brightening as she recognised the signs of her handsome man coming up with a plan.
Well, you are still producing tons of milk from your magic squeakers aren't you? Couldn't we just use a little of that? Just till tomorrow?
The smile on the good lady's face evaporated like the last of our milk seemed to have done from the fridge.
I am not drinking boob milk coffee.
She stated flatly.
The mucky rain outside chose at that point to turn into a frozen mix of hail and snow which rattled off the window with a steady roar.
I winced as the drumming on the window got louder and louder.
We don't have to use a lot, we might hardly notice?
I had pleaded.
The good lady narrowed her eyes like a cat trapped in a bag.
I do hope you are joking because that is never going to happen.
Could we have our coffee black?.
I said.
My face wrinkled as if I were a testicle too long in the water at the thought.
I suppose I could just have tea...?
Said the good lady with a face as equally scrumply as mine at the thought.
Tea? Tea is for dicks.
We both nodded at that.
I sighed.
Dick tea was out and boob milk coffee didn't seem to be a winner either. It was time for some hard man choices to be made.
I grabbed my jacket and headed out into the shrieking cold.
Healthy boob coffee this is something new like new brand :)
I think it could market itself almost!! Hehe!
You are right ! :)
I will order an industrial pump!! :0D
Haha, awesome idea mate!!
Well, @meesterboom, remind me to bring a secret flask of my own desired brew of coffee or tea when you have me round for a drink. I'm not sure I could remain polite and cordial were I to be offered up 'dick tea' nor 'boob milk'.
I would, however, have the common courtesy of good breeding and deft slight of hand, to slip out my own contraban 'non boob/dick' drink from where it was secreted away on my person and switch it out for what was offered me. I mean I'm not completely ungrateful.
I might think twice before I reached for the hot buttered toast though "Heavens, " I might wonder "Whatever do they use to make their butter?"
Happy late boxing day and early new years day :)
Hehe, oh the butter, yes, let's not go there!!! ;0)
A very happy boxing Day and beyond to you too lass!!
If you ever graced this house I can guarantee you a fine coffee, right down to the non-Bob milk :0D
That's almost an exact repeat of what went on at our house the morning of Christmas Eve...but I was the one stuck bundling against the wind and snow to get our cream :)
It's worth it in the end but what a passion in the arse when it happens. Next year I am buying a cow!!
Um, I'd rather not think about passion in the arse, and I suspect you wouldn't either. Damn autocorrect!
Oh my god!! That's hilarious!! Obviously autocorrect, but what a genius that autocorrect is!! Lol
Well then.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x389nsj
(kind of SFW, depending on your employer)
Lol, not my employer that's for sure!!
After facing the elements, probably ended up being the best tasting coffee in weeks :0)
It was pretty dashed good and great to be back indoors!!
It's not an option. Rather go to the shop or hit your stash of beer cans. You must have loads after a year of doing beer tasting. I reckon we could all come to the Boom's for a party.
There is quite the pile in the garage. I might need help getting them all drunk!!
But first that dratted coffee!!
Save them for when Steem hits double digits and it will be a good excuse.
Ah, that will be a fine day. A steem party!!
It was dangerous to go out there with frozen hail beating the lands. You can get hurt. I hope the good lady can be a bit caring for your safety. Upvoted!
It can be a wild and unforgiving country this one but I survived!
Human milk would be so much better for humans than cow milk though 😂
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That's the thing that is totally true. Yeek though, it looks smeggy as anything :0)
Hhahahahaha, especially since it is her owns, she really should give it a try I guess :D
you would totally try right?
What makes you think I haven't!! ;0)
There's nothing quite like warm breast-milk straight from the tap! Except... The image of a "butch" manly man drinking tea from an impossibly tiny cup, hoisted above a frilly lace doily. Oh my! :)
Hehe that's the image I have when tea rewards it's ugly head!!