Hacked

in #life6 years ago

IMG-PHOTO-ART-458764668.jpg

Tell me, has anyone here actually been hacked?

The new SecOps guy stopped prowling in front of the white-board and fixed his audience with a intense stare.

No one said anything.

A bunch of us had been dragged to a meeting room in which El-Jefe was present and with a face that implied he was doing a venison-shit he announced a shift in our development culture.

No more were we to be agile.

No more were we to be DevOps.

Now, we were to be DevSec.

And apparently, the man to drag us kicking and screaming into the modern ICT age was the preening popinjay before us, Quimby.

He had a Game of Scrums mug in his hand and looked like the sort who rode one of those folding bikes.

Oh, come on? Someone must have been hacked at some point surely?

Said Quimby gazing around the room somewhat desperately in the manner of a man who's foreskin was too tight.

I tutted at the lack of participation from my so called colleagues and decided to be a Canadian for a day and help him out.

I was sort of hacked once.

I said in a friendly I will give you the benefit of the doubt and not assume you are a total penis manner.

Ha!! Well, I can promise it wasn't me that hacked you!

Quimby shouted, pointing at me contemptuously as if I were dressed up as Moana and was jacking off into a curly seashell.

But maybe it was!

He then contradicted himself in a giggly way that set my teeth right on edge.

Ah, so much for Canadian niceties. He was a penis.

I gave him a hard look. A measuring look.

Was it you?

I said slowly raising an incredibly well trimmed eyebrow at him.

People might tell you that trimming your eyebrows isn't cool but neither is being in your late forties and looking like a yeti.

Besides, it goes well with the shaved silk purse.

Noooo! Of course not! Or maybe it was!

Quimby danced from foot to foot as if someone was playing Bohemian Rhapsody on his Prince Harry.

I've hacked a few things in my time! Not all of them ethically!

He looked around at his captive audience as if longing to be patted on the head and told he was a clever boy.

I pulled my phone out and tapped the screen before getting up and making for the exit.

Sorry, got to take this call.

There was no call. Life is too short for such penisery.

Sort:  

Never been hacked before, and the worst thing a person can get by hacking me is naked selfies that will burn your eyes out of your eyesockets xD

True hackers are the ones that nobody knows about, those are the good and scary ones.

Yeah, the ones that get in and out and still no one knows!!

Did you manage to find out from everyone who stayed in the meeting if anything useful came out of it? XD

Apparently he blabbered on about his successful career in hacking for quite some time and that was it!!

Sounds very informative and useful o_O

Can you hack my unibrow?

Consider it hacked!! I now have control!! :0D

Someone in one of my WhatsApp group was hacked recently. The hacker contacted her contacts and managed to get couple of bank account number and credit numbers after contacting them. Talk about two stupid or three stupid. I started telling my wife not to click any link even if it was from me unless i personally told her to click.

I feel mine exactly the same. Click nothing, is amazing how clever they are getting!!

Be safe. All

A unibrow isn't popular these days.. Lol.. Thank for the daily entertainment keep up the good work..

They are quite horrible!! Cheers man!

People might tell you that trimming your eyebrows isn't cool but neither is being in your late forties and looking like a yeti.

After 45, when I cut my hair, I get less debris than when I trim my eyebrows. And .. the whole lot looks like someone simultaneously spilled salt and pepper.

Salt and pepper is exactly what it's like!!

Coincidentally, it seems that as I reduce the salt in my diet, there is more in my hair.

He,y, I have found the same thing!

Hilarious:
People might tell you that trimming your eyebrows isn't cool but neither is being in your late forties and looking like a yeti.

It's so true! I looked at the hairdresser in horror the firs time she mentioned trimming my eyebrows!! Not now!

Haha. As long as you keep your nose hairs trimmed busy eyebrows aren’t so bad.

You have to keep on top of everything, eyebrows, nose and now even bloody ears. This getting odler malarkey has some right drawbacks! :OD

I once thought I'd been hacked on steem... that was a scary few minutes not being able to sign in etc... until I realized there was a hardfork underway lol ;-)

At 74 I don't give a shit about trimming anything anymore... I like the eyebrows, it gives me that Andy Rooney look.

!BEER
for you

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