Gym Dog

I waltzed into the gym with a billowy swagger like wheat blowing in the wind.

Some weedy spiv in a gym uniform T-Shirt stepped up to greet me.

Welcome, if there is anything you need help with just ask.

He said with a pleasant smile.

I'm looking for Sarah Connor.

I grunted as I pushed past him.

He let out a startled squawk.

I snorted at my own joke and proceeded onward, the floor shuddering under my mighty feet.

Folding my arms, I stopped and surveyed the grunting bodies and sweating flesh before me.

Something that was a mix of a sneer and a smile painted itself on my muscular face.

I was home.

It had been many months since I had been to the gym but I was going on holiday in less than a month's time and had decided it was time to scrub up dem abs for the beach.

Stepping up to the first machine. I switched the weight up to a hundred and massive-teen.

I sat and pushed the handles up.

Greeeugggh!!

Stiffly the weights rose. I let out a mighty grunt and let the bar slam down after one rep with a giant clang.

Standing, I stretched my back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the appreciative glances of my fellow muscle-o-nauts.

That's right sisters, I'm back in the game.

Like a lithe panther, I prowled among the oh-so-familiar machines despite the time that had passed since I had last stepped foot in the place.

I took a moment to congratulate myself on my gymery.

Without doubt, I was a snarling gym dog comprised of prime beef.

I moved over to another machine. It was set at forty kilos.

I trumpeted with contempt like an elephant given a pair of socks for Christmas and slid the weight peg up to a hundred and ninety million.

Before sitting I looked around and made sure everyone could marvel at my titanic majesty.

I sat and heaved at the bar, it barely moved.

Huuurghern!

I yelled as I let the bar crash down the monster two inches I had eventually managed to raise it.

I grabbed my towel. It had been a good session. I headed for the showers ignoring the admiring glances from the weak scum who wished that they could be me.

Later, as I sauntered into the office, one of the ladies I worked with, Kali-Mari, stopped me in the hallway.

Her mouth dropped open in an astonished O shape. She held a hand up before me.

My handsome muscularity must have overwhelmed her. Perhaps I would gift her some of myseed so that she might birth strong sons?

Oh my god, BoomDawg!? Are you alright? Have you been for a curry? You are all purple and sweaty!?!

She exclaimed rather loudly.

I narrowed my eyes at her and made a smimf'ing sound.

Hmmph, no seed for you then.