Choco Beers!
Looky look, it's Saturday again. Hurrah!
The beer trail is brimming with promise tonight. I was going to go full on pale and IPA styley but then I saw these two little beauties and could not resist picking them up and caressing them in my filthy wanton hands.
So, from the dark depths of the cold and lonely night I bring you two incredible CHOCOLATE beers, to tease and entertain!
Well, I hope they do. Otherwise I will huff and puff and blow someone's house down!!
Let's get started!
A new brewery for me from Nottingham, England. I have never heard of them nor tried any of their beers. Could this be the start of something beautiful?
Neon Raptor, it's a cool name for a brewery, and JAFFA CAKE!?! I trust you know what a Jaffa Cake is? Little discs of magnificence, dark chocolate and orangey jam. Mmm mmm. Can't wait!
Let's see if we are about to get... JURASSIC!! Get it?
Hmm, it slides out the can like vaguely apologetic bat's piss. I'm talking the fanged flappy night creature and not a man in a Lycra and rubber suit.
Nothing to lose and everything to gain. Bring on the bat piss!
Hot damn!! This thing is a tasty delight! I take it all back, there is nothing piss-like about this magnificent beer. It's malty and roasty with dark dark chocolate overtones and then that lovely sparky orange, almost marmalade'y-ness.
I fucking love it. 9/10 booms!!!
Yeehaw, we are off to a belter of a night!!
Surely nothing can follow this? Hmm, how about some...
Well this is a mystery. The artwork on the can is kinda cool but at the same time tells me next to nothing about who makes it. De Moerslutel?... Moerslufel?... Sometimes an 'f' instead of a 't' can make all the difference.
Anyway, this thing claims to have chipotle chilli's in it and as everyone knows I would quite literally eat shit on a stick if it had a chipotle chilli batter.
So let's fly into the dark black heart of the Aztecs and try some of their hot chocolate!
Ah, that's better. This one looks more beer'y than the last although the last one ended up being a topper so it goes to show that you should never judge bats piss by it's cover.
So this cheeky chap has vanilla, chocolate, cinnamon and the mighty chipotle chilli's in it.
My downward bream is fizzing in anticipation.
Oh man alive, what is that taste? That strange awful fake plastic thing. Like sucking a plastic grocery bag. I don't understand. Someone help me understand this madness.
Uh, it's fucking horrible. A waste of metal and water. Damn you whoever you are that brewed this tosh... 3/10 booms!?
It's a bad day when a plastic bag tastes better than a beer.
Oh well, one amazing and one bogging. You can't win em all!!
Have a great weekend everyone.
Cheers!
9 and sadly a 3.
At least one good number to celebrate spring. Cheers!
Add long as there is one I'm a happy man!! Cheers dude!!
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Haha.. and you kept on drinking the plastic bag beer!!... ;)
Lol, well, sometime you have to take the hit!! ;0)
You had me laughing on that second video..., thought you were trying to find water or something.. not plastic bags!
Hehe, it leapt into my mind! I am glad we actually had some. The missus has been making us all bagless lately!
So question. When you're writing these beer reviews do you actually have to think how you're going to phrase things or does the funny stuff just leap out of your brain onto the screen XD
Lol, I just go for it. At the very worst I sometimes have to do a second take because I lose my way in what I am saying but yeah, I just open my mouth and let the twoddle flow!! :0D
I never drank a choco beer, but that neon raptor looks something to try 🍺😁 cheers
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It is one that you would just keep wanting to drink more of!! :0)
Cheers lass!
Oh the singing, such a melodious voice you have, total eclipse of the heart will never be the same for me :)
Fucking yum to the hint of orangey chocolateyness- makes me think of this:
Ha, you know my wee lass was sharing her chocolate orange a couple of days later and I was like,oooooo yummy beer taste!! Lol
Yup, that would be what my brain would reference too!
mmmnn chocolately, malty and roasty sounds fabulous! glad it didn't dissapoint. Now what the hell is up with those aztecs?? apparently they haven't saccrificed enough virgins lately and have pissed off the beer gods again.
It's probably all down to the lack of virgin sacrificing going on. They need to get it toegther! :OD
Damn, bro. I bet that second beer tasted like sidewalk dog !shit on a hot summer day. I’m sorry you had to try it for our amusement. :(
Yo dude!! Yeah, it was pants but hey, a part of me would rather have a shit beer than no beer! Which probably says terrible things about me :0)
You do make a good point there.
On the other hand, that’s why I always keep a reserve of vodka and whiskey somewhere close by. Just in case!
Haha, aye, that is definitely a good idea!!
Lol. Now we know what face you pulled at last Sundays lunch. Jaffa Cakes are good as long as they are the genuine ones and not the cheap rip offs. One out of 2 this week which is a good result for the stuff you are tasting.Bats piss was the winner. Aztec Hot Chocolate had a good name though.
I genuinely thought the Aztec one was going to be a killer of a beer. You are so right on the cheap Jaffa cakes, they are foul!!
Back to the reserves in the fridge. You cant go all weekend with a taste like that in your mouth. besides, any excuse is enough to open another good one
And it doesn't take much for me to use anything as an excuse!! Hehe
Neither it should, the only drawback is the crocodile that shits in your mouth overnight and those little gnome miners digging away on your head the next day.
Hehe, that is a great way of putting it and it's very apt!
It is strange how those bloody Aussie crocks get everywhere, and have no toilet training