Creative Writing - I'm Sad, What do I need to do?

The emotional roller coaster brought back a lot of memories, which I am releasing in my head with each passing second. Every time I consider the hereafter, I ponder if it would be preferable to continue living in this difficult world or pass away in order to find peace and tranquility.

_Pixabay

I've heard a number of people express their preference for the end of life over the cessation of suffering. Do the end of life and the end of agony differ in any way? Exists suffering after death? I believe that even if suffering may eventually go away, life may still go on. This is so that one's suffering can end even if they don't actually pass away.

However, I have no one else to communicate these things to besides the paper I write on, which is now rather wet because the tears didn't stop.

I still don't comprehend perfection. It's challenging to avoid thinking about the past; sometimes, deep down, I want to give up and attempt the impossible, but I hold myself back out of fear of being judged as if it doesn't affect my daily life.

How long will I yearn for love? Why does love seem like such a challenge to me? Am I fated to never experience love? Who will understand me after all these years, who will care about the time I've wasted loving?

For a very long time, I've been waiting for understanding. I yearned for perfection even after doubt started to creep in and I started to lose who I was. I'm not even sure who I am right now. What direction is my life going towards from here? My vision has become so blurry since I can't place when I started to lose focus. Without help, I drown in tears.

This is beyond anything I could have ever imagined, and I'm slowly bleeding to death. Although I have heard about it, I have not personally experienced the afterlife. Who can tell me more about it? How can I explain this early onset of madness—which I would never want upon anyone—in my life? Is it necessary for me to constantly walking everyone down memory lane to explain my lunacy since my emotions are deeply scarred? I am now bleeding on those who have not cut me, do I have to keep taking everyone down memory lane to make them comprehend my madness?

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What do I need to do?

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A part of me yearns for happiness, but where can I find it? Since the universe is always against me when I try to find out, I really don't know.

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_{Thank you for stopping by my blog.}

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