Just Did Not Have Time to Think of a Title, a poem

What I loved.
Unintentionally,
With grace and beauty,
My doors you opened,
My heart you softened.
Simple yet complex,
You’re an unreachable apex,
For as the epitome of beauty,
You’re the star of my fantasy.
I’ve wondered what could have been.
I’ve thought about so many “what ifs”.
Guess I’ll never know if we were meant to be.
For to keep a friend,
I decided to flee.

Who I loved.
To tell the world about you
Is what I’d like to do.
I need it to be precise
But no words will ever suffice.
Nevertheless,
In my pages you have been addressed;
You were the lyrics to my every song,
The story behind every poem.
You are everything I never want to forget
Yet you were also my biggest regret.
For the lack of courage to take action,
I never told you my honest confession:
I love you.
I might still do.

How I loved.
To this day,
I’ve got one thing I’d like to say:
“I am sorry”
Words, to this day, to you I owe.
I’m probably too late though.
To be honest with you,
I really did like you.
That’s with utmost certainty.
I just went about it thoughtlessly.
For what it’s worth,
Although feelings I was not able to return,
You showed me I had more to learn.
Myself, you helped me discover:
Not only was I immature,
I was selfish,
And without a doubt, childish.
And for that, to you I am grateful.

When I loved.
My love at first sight,
For you I was ready to fight.
Wouldn’t have mind waiting in line
As long as I got to call you “mine”,
Kept this in my heart like no other
Coz with you I saw forever.
In time you changed me:
A self once scared to love openly
Now with a heart open for all to see.
Myself, you read and saw through.
My songs and poems you made true.
For once, the reality—my reality
Outweighed my fantasy.
But it all came to an end.
You packed all of yours and fled.
As two years went by too fast,
“Forever” became a notion that couldn’t last.

The unexpected love.
It took awhile,
But you came in style.
To your majesty,
Of your presence, how could I be worthy?
With the beauty, talent, and personality you’ve been accented,
To my heart’s throne you ascended.
It all seemed like a dream.
For how could it be?
You’re clearly at the top of your game,
Yet in my life you came.
To my lyrics, you brought back meaning,
To my ridiculously awkward singing, you kept believing.
I’d possibly look like a joke,
But if that’s what it takes to see you smile and stoked,
Again and again,
I’d do it all.

Why I loved.
You were my best friend.
With you I wished to never see an end.
We clicked in so many ways:
Sports, music, books, and hobbies,
We easily talked about for days.
But by my own self, I was betrayed.
I went head over heels for you,
And sadly broke best friend taboo.
While time and effort I invested,
My patience you tested.
Still I stayed
Until it felt like a never-ending crusade.
My bags I packed,
My broken heart I dragged.
Now I wonder:
Was it a feeling and decision made so clumsily?
Did I surrender prematurely?

Where I loved.
Home was where we met.
Heaven sent, I bet.
Slowly days became shorter,
Nights took longer.
Hoping for chances I could reap,
I decided to take a leap.
The promise I swore upon
I have withdrawn.
To get a glimpse of you,
I did what I could.
Might have lied some too.
Never did I mind
For when with you, I was on cloud nine.
But still you broke my heart,
My life, you did not want to be a part.

The last I’ve loved.
Apple of my eye,
The sight of you just screams, “try”.
Your positive energy so contagious,
You make me courageous.
But still,
To do something...
Anything…
My heart just can’t
For more than anything, I felt hesitant.
If you ask me why,
I was afraid to try.
What a struggle it was
To see myself fear its’ wants.
For many have left
And too long I’ve been bereft.

I’ve kept myself aloof
Yet my heart still lacks courage;
No beauty could encourage.
Seeing myself in the mirror,
I see a man without a frown.
I think I got it all together,
But I feel another.
For my heart remains alone
Having no one to call my own.
Now back in dreamland,
With so many nameless ones.
To be another’s,
Fear proves difficult to master.
But it won’t be too long.
One day myself I’ll gather,
This fear I’ll conquer,
My heart I’ll ready for him to capture.