TIME TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Most times, when a relationship is on the verge of collapsing, we usually fall prey to trading blames. And most often than not, the blame falls on our partner.

There is something comforting about thinking that the other significant person is responsible for the near breakup. And then, it is not quite a good thing to heap blames upon ourselves for no reason. It seems quite to be due to a loss of esteem and self-confidence in making things work. But has it ever crossed our mind that we might just as well be the reason for a quaking relationship?

I mean no kudos to a cheating guy or an unfaithful, lying girlfriend- these are clear indicators to bolt out of a relationship. I am talking about issues that are more abstract, less easy to decipher. Say, you guys don’t talk like you used to and you can’t seem to understand why. Or things have been tough for him, and he can’t seem to understand that things aren’t as easy for you as well. You would definitely want to know if the fault comes from you before wanting to lurch at your partner. So, here are signs you are the problem in a relationship.

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Who listens more? You or him
It is a proven fact that being a listener in a conversation is better than doing the talking. It shows you are willing to take in more shit than throw out a lot on your partner. This is not just some cheap motivational talk. It is actually true. And then, those who talk more than listen would most likely have said something that managed to provoke their partners. And then, this might have culminated in a grudge. So, you would want to know if you have, by way of talking, gotten into the bad books of your partner.

Tolerance
We all admit that we have our downturns when it comes to habits. And when two people come together in a relationship, it might be infuriating having to tolerate bad habits. But then, that’s what we still have to do to make anything work- tolerate. So, if you have not exactly tolerated some of the offs of your partner, you might have triggered a dislike. Because no matter how you both love each other, it is tolerance and acceptability that will make you push through.

Stonewalling
So your partner offended you and then you decide not to talk to him/her for a while. But there you go, wearing that surprised look when he/she begins to ignore your calls or look uninterested in what you have. Come on, anger is good, maybe healthy. But stonewalling, it just makes a relationship crumble flat out. So, you might want to tell your partner the whole sealed lip thing was a gig to make him/her laugh. And your relationship will be saved.

Lies
Believe it or not, no one likes to be lied to. So, if you have at any time lied to your partner, it might have a bouncy effect on the relationship. And yes, there is nothing like a white lie. So, whatever lie it is, there is always a ripple effect.

Distance
There is something about distance. The farther you are from a place, the more you want to get there. This also works with relationships. When you are too close, too alive to your partner, you actually begin to see signs of decays. This especially deals with women. They like their men to be close enough to them. When actually the guy just wants to have fun as much as he wants to be with you. And the guy too, girls want some ladies time. They want to go out to girls night without being bugged and all. So, you might have been demanding a huge chunk of your partner’s time than is allowed. And this is a problem.

Gratitude
Most times. we can fall under the illusion that whatever our partner does is what they are meant to do. Well, this is not the case. A partner wants to be appreciated. They want to see it in your eyes and body language that you are grateful for the little treats they sacrifice everything to give you. So being ungrateful might be a little problem for a relationship.

Romance
Any relationship that is not sparked in any way is likely to die soon enough. So probably, you are holding back from your spouse, then you would rather not do that. And if things are getting bland and boring between the both of you, then it’s about time you both put more coal into the affair. And you can just initiate it.

Downtime
I must mention without fail that most relationships will one time or the other go through a rough patch or patches. So, if there is a trouble in your relationship, it might just be one of those rough patches. And it will definitely pass. Just hold on and be strong.