The Vulnerability Paradox

I read a very interesting article that talked about how vulnerability is the first trait you want to find in a person, but the last trait you want a person to find in you. Being vulnerable is often defined as being naive, as something that makes you more likely to get your heartbroken and disappointed. Of course, we can’t deny the fact that for example someone who is very susceptible to what other people say, is someone who can be easily offended.

Despite everything, I believe there is a certain beauty in being vulnerable. Nowadays most people tell you that in order to "survive" you have to be tough and don’t express how you feel because there is a huge chance you might get hurt. Of course, we live in a dangerous world, where we don’t know everyone’s intentions, but to me that doesn’t mean communicating your feelings is wrong.

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In fact, feeling in general is considered dangerous.

For example, when you begin to catch feelings for someone else you get anxious, insecure and nervous. You also feel scared because that other person might not feel the same way as you, because you have no idea how things are going to turn out, and scared because you don’t want to be vulnerable and exposed to all sorts of things.

This is why we are taught to play “hard to get”, and then during a relationship people might say something like you shouldn’t get too attached to your partner because that could complicate things. We are basically taught that “feeling too much” is wrong and it makes you more susceptible, which can be truth in many ways, however this is not a reason for hiding your emotions.

It’s actually very dangerous to hide your feelings, you can end up regretting not saying something in the first place. There is a very common thought about this, and it is that we should all express how we feel because there may come a time when you won’t be able to do it anymore.

I know I’m going a little off topic but these were things I just wanted to mention.

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To me, accepting that you are vulnerable is a very brave thing to do, in fact, denying your own vulnerability it’s like denying your humanity by closing yourself from life and all its opportunities out of fear, not strength.

I have only mentioned bad things, although, being vulnerable does not mean you are just open for pain, but also for pleasure, since it allows you to build stronger bonds with others, to be more honest and authentic, and it even challenges you to grow as a person.

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What I’m trying to express in this post is that it is ok to feel and express yourself. If you love someone say it, if you need help ask for it, and even if you feel scared just go for it.

Remember: Vulnerability allows you to love deeper and grow stronger.