Thank you for everything

Where we started and where we came from. With whom I started and with whom I came to this end. We started together, but you're not here anymore. You're not a long time. I do not know where you got lost, at the other end I think. I do not think you've accompanied me here, it's just been your shadow. I've looked a thousand times back, maybe I can see you, that maybe I'm coming to you. But not in vain. I looked before, thinking that you might be waiting for me at the end of the road, asking forgiveness that you did not expect me. But no. You're not with me either. I looked left and right. You are not anywhere. I have eyes full of tears and bare arms on you. Now I realize, after so long, after so many disappointments that you ... Yes, that you are one thing: it is my past that is watching me now or my present that I do not want to do.

With every step I made, the more I progressed, the more you pulled me back, because that was you for me. You were not the person holding me, but the person pulling me back. Three steps ahead, ten back. See how far back did you bring me? You destroyed me and I do not know what you wanted. What the? I do not know. I do not know. And I do not think I'll ever know. In vain, I stand by the phone waiting for it to ring. A sign. A miracle. I'm waiting for you to call. Will it sound? Will it come? I'm waiting for a stranger who has been so dear to me. A stranger who loves me. How stupid, huh?

After we broke up, we still call you. I wanted to hear you, to know what you're doing, if you're fine. I was expecting you to tell me everything would be good and it was not over. That you will never leave me, as you promised me then that evening. That you love me and I miss you. I was waving words. How ridiculous! How ridiculous I was most likely to you. I've waited so much for a miracle to happen. Probably ... I was not lucky. Today I say ... "goodbye" for now, I have much to say. So many. And I will never look at you. I will keep you in my heart as the most ... it does not matter, not for you. And you know I'll always be here for you. I would have liked being friends ... good friends. Call me, ask me for advice and tell me about your love affairs. Tell me how much you love and how much she loves you. But it will only be a desire. A dream. And it will pass. Now only in dreams we are both, because the reality is too cruel to me. Too hard to be able to stand alone. I need you so much to help me get over everything. What do they say? I have to deal with this pain myself. I have to wipe my tears and move on. Without you. Let me learn to live without you. Anyway, I could not have lived with you anyway. You loved him. You love him. But do you know? I'm not sorry I loved you. Because I love you. That I gave you everything that was better and smoke in me. Purely. More sincerely. I at least managed to love. Instead, you just mimed.

Thank you for everything. Thank you for at least you gave me the illusion that you love me. Thank you for making me happy. So happy! I have reached the maximum points. Then I touch them on the lowest of the suffering. That's not what I regret. I'm not sorry about anything. Just that: it's over, that I could not do anything to stay, that I did not make you stay. I did not give you any reason to stay, not to go. I probably would have liked to be lied, how little. To be with you for a few moments. Thank you even for the moments in which I had so much need of you and you were not here. They made me stronger. And they helped me a lot in your detachment. Let me strain you. Thank you even for this moment when I'm trying to get away from you. I will succeed. Maybe one day ...