(STEEMCHURCH) CHILDREN WHO MAKE BERRINCHES

Although it is paradoxical, we must understand the rebellion, disobedience, negativism, tantrums and tantrums of the children as positive and expressive signs of a personality in formation.

Source

Lourdes Botello, editor and expert consultant in welfare says that:

The tantrums on average occur between:
18 months and 5 years of age
They last from 3 to 15 minutes
16 seconds is the average time in which the mother can not stand the tantrum and gives
It is given at least 1 a day
5 to 7% of children from 1 to 3 years old throw tantrums 3 or more times per week.

According to Survey to 1, 55 parents made by the University of Northwestern in Illinois, a tantrum a day do it:

8.6% of children
10% of those of 4 years
18% of the 3-year-olds
20% of children 2 years old.

Avoid indulging in everything and instantly your child or you could turn him into a tyrant;
many times we think we are doing well with giving them everything they crave in the moment, on the contrary you are making them intolerant to frustration, in the long run that will make them suffer by becoming a tyrant.

What to do before the tantrums of children?

• Want to break a rule or routine:
  Be consistent and do not let the rule break.

• Want to get something that was denied (candy, toy, special treatment):
  Quietly affirms your denial and waits for the tantrum to pass.

• Between a rock and a hard place

Typical: while your son is in the midst of the drama of the century, your mother-in-law, your mother or the lady in the super line say to you: "What happens is that you already got the measure", "Teach her who's boss" or, worse Still, "That attitude is removed with a spanking in time."

• You do not do one too

• Avoid shouting; do not compete in volume and intensity

• Do not try to reason with him

• Never hit him

• Do not make fun of him

• Let him finish the tantrum and only intervene physically if he tries to hit others or destroy things

• When the situation becomes embarrassing or is very annoying for other people, you can leave the place with the child carrying (not dragging)

• If the air goes out, keep in mind that a person can remain without breathing for about a minute without suffering brain damage, so it is better to wait for it to pass; otherwise, you will have found a form of blackmail scaring you. But if it turns blue or really bad, you can help him react by pouring a little water on his face (a few drops).

• Once the situation calms down, you should talk with him, calm but firm, making it clear that tantrums are not the way to achieve what you want. And you? Mindfulness If the child throws a tantrum, you have the opportunity to learn a lot about yourself to stay calm.

Here are some questions that can help you develop this practice:

• What happens just before your child starts a tantrum?

• How do you feel?

• Are you hungry, sleepy, tired, want to be pampered?

• Have you noticed what makes you explode or give way?

Identify if your reaction depends on screaming, being deprived or having to do with something that you are experiencing as tiredness, haste, worry or sorrow because others are seeing you.

• Make a list of what you can do before it explodes

• How do you feel as a mom if your child makes one in public?

• How can you stay calm or create an environment that is less detonator of dramas?

A group of researchers from the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington observed 279 children to find out if those at risk for depression or some other behavior disorder had a different way of throwing tantrums at children who did not.

There are five behaviors that can be considered high risk:

• He is aggressive toward who cares or destroys things more than half the time (at least 10 tantrums).

• The scene lasts more than 25 minutes and may lack air (deprives).

• Makes 10 to 20 tantrums a month, even if they are moderate, or has more than 5 a day, both at school and at home Seriously autoagrede, for your safety, this behavior should be addressed regardless of the frequency or duration If you can not calm down alone and you need an adult to contain it firmly.

Reference BOOK: Intelligent Discipline, Vidal Schmille

@mariela