Mourning in chronic and terminal illnesses
Mourning is the normal and healthy response of a person to a loss. Describe the emotions you feel when you lose someone or something important to you.
Not only when we lose human life with the death of a loved one or family, we experience mourning. When a person knows that he has a chronic illness; such as cancer, AIDS, kidney failure; While the process of adaptation and acceptance of the disease occurs, experience a duel.
The World Health Organization says that health is a complete state of mental and social physical well-being, not just the absence of diseases or illnesses. It is important to point out that the body and the mind are unity, that's why even though the disease affects the body, undoubtedly the mind will also be affected.
Those who have been diagnosed with a chronic disease (diabetes, cancer, arthritis, kidney failure, etc.) experience various problems, one of them directly related to the disease: physical pain, fatigue, loss or diminution in motor abilities, changes metabolic, changes in physical appearance, among others. Some psychological aspects are: uncertainty towards the future, "threat of death", deterioration in the quality of life, anxiety and depression.
Before the diagnosis of a chronic disease the patient enters a process called duel, from the Latin dolus which means pain and duelum which means challenge. Mourning is a necessary and adaptive psychic process to face a significant loss such as the death of a loved one, break with the couple or in this case the loss of health, is characterized by a sense of loss and much sadness with little or no interest in the external world. It consists of five stages:
1-Denial: it serves to cushion the pain before an unexpected news, it is temporary and is characterized by the word no, "I am not sick, this can not be happening to me". When someone has been diagnosed, they are likely to evade reality by ignoring the symptoms of their illness in order to feed the belief that they are "healthy"; Another behavior includes visiting different doctors or having repeated laboratory tests to "prove" that the previous diagnosis is erroneous and does not have any disease. Although denial is a necessary step, it can put the patient's life at risk if its duration is long, since it delays the start of the medical treatment required and therefore the probability of controlling the disease and the symptoms is reduced.
2-Ira: at this stage it is thought that the loss was unfair and is characterized by complaints, tears and especially by a great anger that can sometimes be directed towards the couple, family or medical staff, it is common the presence of feelings of hatred and Envy towards those who enjoy health also blame themselves for having fallen ill. They often ask "why me? Why have I gotten sick? "
Negotiation: the intensity of anger gradually decreases and before the difficulty of assimilating the disease begins a struggle to make a pact with God, the doctor, life or objects that have faith to improve or reverse the state of health. "If I'm cured, I promise to go to church every Sunday; If I comply with all the medical indications, will I be healthy again?
4-Depression: the person realizes that he can not deny his reality or reverse it, this stage is the prelude to acceptance where a deep feeling of sadness and memories of when he enjoyed health predominates. Although in all stages it is necessary to listen and accompany the patient, in this it is indispensable since there is a lot of psychic pain that needs to be discharged, if the person does not have a space of expression where they can talk about their fears and emotions they run the risk to move from a state of sadness to a state of deeper depression, in which the path to reach acceptance of the disease will be longer and more difficult.
5-Acceptance: will gradually "make peace" with the disease. It is not a happy stage, but a stage in which the patient is fully aware of his medical condition and will seek the most adaptive way to cope with it in all aspects: on a physical, psychological and social level.
Grief is a dynamic process that is experienced differently in each person, the stages are not necessarily consecutive and there is the possibility of going back to previous stages or not presenting any of the five. It is important to mention that the family of the patient can also experience a grieving process and that despite the emotional implications involved is not considered a depressive disorder however this does not imply that those who experience it do not require professional help.
Path to wellness
There is no "right" way to grieve. Each person is different. Give yourself time to experience the loss in your own way. At the same time, remember to take care of yourself.
-Feel your loss. Allow yourself to cry, feel nothing, be angry or feel any way you experience. It hurts, but it is natural and normal.
-Satisfy your physical needs. Get enough sleep, maintain a well-balanced diet and exercise regularly.
-Express your feelings. Talk about how you feel with others. Or find a creative way to express your feelings. This may include art, music or journaling.
-Keep a routine. Return to your normal routine as soon as possible. Try to keep up with your daily tasks so you do not feel overwhelmed.
-Avoid drinking alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant that can affect your mood, so it could make you feel even sadder.
-Avoid making important decisions. It takes time to adjust to a loss and return to a normal state of mind. Making an impulsive decision while grieving could add more stress to a difficult time. Try to wait a year before making a big change, such as moving or changing jobs.
-Take a break. Take mourning breaks, participating in activities you enjoy. It's okay not to feel sad all the time. Laughing does him good.
-Ask for help if you need it. You do not have to face it alone. Contact friends, family, clergy, a counselor or therapist, or support groups. If your symptoms do not improve or you feel you need additional help, talk to your family doctor.
Although it is normal to feel sad after a loss, the feelings associated with the pain must be temporary. Sometimes the feelings last longer, or you may have trouble coping with your emotions. When this happens, grief can turn into depression. The symptoms of grief and depression are similar.
If you feel you are having trouble dealing with your emotions, ask for help. Your family doctor can help you treat your depression so you can start to feel better. It can also help determine what other type of support you need. This could include a support group, individual therapy or medications.
And Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for his son many days