Oh @jamesartville, I am so sorry to hear that! I wish I had some magic words to help you heal, but unfortunately I don't. Time will make it easier, but that does you no good now; give yourself time to heal and move on when you're able. In the meantime, you have to mourn the loss, like a death, and process your feelings accordingly. It's normal, if that's at all helpful, but not the least bit an easy thing to do. Sending lots of positive vibes your way!!