Lesson 1 in 'How to get the girl' ...Let's go flyfishing!!.... Comedyopenmic #38

Are you having real problems getting the love of your life to see you as the Numero Uno in her life?

If so, then don't read this, move on, because this has nothing to do with that.

Only joking!
This has everything to do with that. (and casual bonking to, this is an all inclusive post).

The most efficient - and cost effective - way, is to go fly fishing.

Yes, fly fishing.
In learning the art of fly fishing, you'll also have all the skills you that you'll need to get the girl of your dreams flapping around all helpless and wet, in no time at all.
(This is in the final part 3 . Lets walk before we can run, eh?)
Part 3 is available for download at a 50% discounted price, if you use the discount code #steemitpriceiscrap.

Part 1

The costs.

Ten nights out of 'unsuccessful girl pulling', more than covers the cost of getting rod, reel, and some fly's.
You also have the added advantage of having a rod and reel after you've learned all you need to know to catch your girl, with no hangovers, and some years later, have some fishing tackle to use an excuse to get away from the girl you caught..

The strategies

Just like fly fishing, you have to pick your spot. This is of the upmost importance. It's no use trying to catch your fish if there are no fish in the waters.
You can test this out for yourself in the 'girl fishing exercise' by simply fishing in an all male environment.
Unless their is a transgender hiding there to pounce on you, you have no chance of getting a girl.
None.

As you can see, my wisdom is mostly Buddha like, and totally unassailable, so just keep reading. (have you 'amazoned' your fishing rod yet? why not? - this is serious shit).

Ok, now that you have found your spot, and you can see the fish are swimming, its time to go hunting!
In girl fishing terms, an example of this is the thoroughfare from dance floor to restroom. An excellent spot to fish.

Bait

It's essential to present the correct bait to your fish. If you don't, they won't bite, no matter what.
(Important note: Lowering your fly in the right spot is to be advised, but when girl fishing, lowering your fly's to be spotted, will rarely work.)

If you are trying to catch anything that passes, you don't need to be so circumspect with your bait, almost any fly will do.
This generally means you can buy her any drink you like , and it has pretty much the same effect.

If you are looking for that perfect specimen, then you also need to know what bait they will take. Do your research.
Offering you target the top champagne will mean nothing, is she prefers moonshine...

Presenting the bait is also important. If it doesn't look 'right', it will put the fish right off.
Dress according to the environment, and what your target fish takes seriously.

While you might think you look sharp as a razor and as cool as ice, in that $2,000 Italian suit- if you are on the beach, it just won't work...(unless your research on the target tells you different).
Every interaction is unique and special, but I would highly suggest that you need to look at your own preferences, if a fish that you want to catch, thinks a 3 piece suit on the beach is attractive - that's just weird.
But never let bizarre strategies stop you - you never know.

For example...

I once caught a fish out of a15" bucket. Yes, a 15" bucket!

You have to be of the mindset that other fisherman count for nothing in this war.
Just because he pulled the fish first - until it's flapping and waiting to be finished off, it belongs to no one, not in my book...
Property is theft, but girls are not property, you misogynistic bastards!
So you can happily take a fish out of a 15" bucket..
If your competitor is busy eating his packed lunch , while you go fishing in his bucket, that's his fault, not yours - and so with girls.

Even if you see your target walking up the isle with her groom, it doesn't mean you give up!Hell no.
It's in the bucket, but not flapping around all wet, not yet...

(While this particular strategy may also involve a violent ejection from the church, what's a bruise or two when you see the love of your lake being pulled out, and gone forever?Cut the other fisherman's damn line, is what I say!)

Don't be a loser in this war.

In part 2, I'll be discussing coaxing the bait onto the hook, or chat up lines that always work.

You'll have your fish where you want, in no time at all!

I nominate @shepz1 and @dexterdumb - seeing as they already bought my 'part 3', even before I even posted part 1 !!!