Living with Schitsoeffective Disorder

Hello my name is Denise and I live from day to day sometimes out of touch with reality... I manage this disorder by staying on my medication so let me tell you a story about how I have lived with it and how it effects my reality... Let me start the story back in 2016 when I lost everything I valued in life... This disorder effects every aspect of my life... I was hospitalized 4 times since 2016... I think erratic thoughts that are not real when I'm off my medication... Let me start off with a weird story of this last time I was hospitalized... I was off my meds about 11 months at this point... This 2017 I was hospitalized at Fairfax for 2 weeks... At first I was doing well enough without my meds then it hits me blind sided... In April... It started out with me trying to talk to my dad through Facebook and escalated to typing out on Facebook my life story the last 10 yrs all addressed to my father... People were getting random posts from me and expressed their concerns that I needed help but I ignored it... At this point I have been crying for almost 2 weeks my roommate calls the ambulance and has me taken to St Peter's hospital when I got there I asked to be discharged... I was thinking I was fine just really sad because I was typing out my story for everyone to see... But then here is where it goes all wrong... I went grocery shopping and bought these ribs... They were huge one big slab from Fred Myers l... I cook it about a week later now it's may... I cooked it and the following day I thought they were human ribs so I called the police department and reported it... That earned me a ride to the hospital overnight... I refused care and came home with a promise to do out patient care for meds... I came home and I saw the ribs sitting on the table as I left it and I was convinced they were human so I called the police again... Here the kicker of it all I thought my grandfather who has been dead for 5 yrs sacrificed his life so I can save him and go to med school... I had this all worked up in my head... The second time I was brought to St Peter's hospital I decided to get x-rayed for my back and went to my mother's they ended up kicking off the property so back to the ER with me and I finally had to say there was something wrong... I walked into the ER asked for help... While under observation was showing odd behavior... I mean I started washing my clothes by hand... I was up all night drinking coffee all the while thinking that the whole hospital surgical ward was somehow connected to me... Like all my family and a friend and my daughter were all checked in upstairs for recovery from accidents or surgeries... I thought my deceased grandfather was there as well having just had rib surgery from the ribs that I had brought into the ER the night before... Anyways as I was sitting there listening to the beeping of the ER I got up and started a physical therapy for all my family who were in mind there recovering... I thought that we were all connected and everything someone got up for the first time I would make slow movements to get up and start physical therapy... And then when I thought my daughter got up I was doing ballet childlike motions.... I mean I was rolling around like a kid on the floor... Then I had to stop because this woman came to the ER that might look like my daughter in the future and my non existent husband was there too... You see I'm not married or ever have married... I have having delusions one after another and the story kept growing from there untill my 2 week stay at Fairfax was up... And all of this was all in head but seamed real at the time... I'm on my medication now and court ordered to take them because I wasn't always on my medication... See with me calling the cops in all this I could of gone to jail... But I lost my home because I wasn't on medications... This is what's it's like to live with Schitsoeffective disorder... And now I'm a boring person on my meds and normal and sane... Thank you for reading...