Canceling NETFLIX Cures Cancer
Cancel your NETFLIX account. $120.00 buys one year of horrible movies and crappy shows that make you dumber by the minute. You sit there watching idiots do things that are not interesting. Who cares what Brad Pitt is pretending to be? Julia Roberts sucks. "The Hangover" and all the actors in that movie suck. Will Ferrel is a not funny weirdo. You sit there wasting precious hours a week watching Family Guy which is stanky trash! Those hours could be used researching to find the cure for cancer.
Are you wasting your time watching awful actors?
Cancer is a disease almost as bad as NETFLIX. Cancer steals our fathers, daughters, aunts, grandmas, and friends. Cancer lops ladies' boobs off and turns strong men into ghostly, pale wimps. It turns people INTO GHOSTS!! The cure for cancer is not on NETFLIX [Dennis Leary's "No Cure For Cancer" is on NETFLIX but it sucks. Dennis Leary is so annoying; not funny].
How can I cure cancer? I'm not smart like a doctor. Listen, I have news for you, doctors are no better than you or I. They are people that paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for a license to take your money. Doctors do not want a cure for cancer. That would be bad for business. You, faithful reader, are just as smart as a doctor, lawyer or rocket scientist. Cancel NETFLIX. Put those hours to good use. "Freaks & Geeks" sucks. "Mad Men" sucks. That show where they sell meth sucks. Marvel super hero movies make me puke. I puke when I see Wolverine.
Ok, I've canceled NETFLIX, now what? Honey, I can't sit here and plot the path you will take but I can certainly point you in the right direction. Take a look at how many multi-million dollar cancer drug companies there are. Look how much cancer research funds are circling around out there. How many charities collect millions every year? None of these so-called brilliant people have done anything of importance and they've been trying to cure cancer for a hundred years. They have failed miserably. It is shameful. These pathetic companies need to be shut down.
We all just need to spend a few hours a week getting these charities, drug companies and research facilities SHUT DOWN! Flatten just one cancer company a week. Do the research. You'll find that all these clowns are just buying BMWs and dishwashers; not curing cancer. When one goes down another will fall. Then sixteen will drop out. And another and another! The cream of the crop will rise to the top. The real cancer curers will shine through. I promise. Cancer will be cured! I promise!
-HULU sucks too.