All of this Force Choking is Costing Me More than Just Credits
Several months ago, my moronic boss said I needed to cut down on the number of idiots I force choke every day. (I still have no idea why).
When this occurred, my executive assistant Vera, who is as brilliant as your Hope Diamond, decided to help me limit my force choking of freaking dimwits who really deserve it. She set up a "kill jar". Every time I justifiably end the existence of a deserving dipwad, I have to put some credits into the jar. (It is actually an electronic transaction. I know this is new to your primitive culture but I think you get the point.)
"Thank you Vera! You are the best!" (Vera is always close at hand)
It has worked... slightly.
Even with the decrease in frequency of the essential "culling of the herd", I have begun to run out of middle management candidates.
As a result, we have had to take on some "non-traditional" applicants. This is not going well.
I am not ready to make any official job postings, but my loyal followers should be on the lookout in case I need to start recruiting from your system.
If you make me an opening in the Imperial Accounting department, I'm sure I could find creative ways to acquire top quality talent. For example, we could use the proceeds from the 'kill jar' to give out annual bonuses to middle management survivors. Or we could buy a new clone army ... that actually sounds like more fun.
Yes I like the idea of a new clone army. That way I have an endless supply of idiots to choke.
What's your health insurance like? Retirement? Vacation time? Do you want a resume or C.V.?
All of our employees are considered double part time employees. They each have 2 jobs of 39 hours each so we do not have to pay for insurance. It's so cute that you believe you could survive until retirement. Vacation? You are funny. I like that. Why would anyone want a vacation from hanging out with me?
lol :D
You see to have something on your face. Allow me.
Non traditional applicants are maybe harder to force choke. Then they are better, aren't they?
Perhaps. This would make Vera happy.
Then it is a great idea!