Eat celery // Comedy openmic week #44?

So im standing there.... 30 people around me. Fidgety and nervous. Waiting for their turn for a chance of inner fulfillment. Waiting for the bliss of the moment....
A wife yelling at her husband. A child crying in its mothers arms. Anticipation turning into frustration..

I see a date that will end badly. A panicked boy searching his pockets for change, the girl turned to the side fixing her cheap makeup she put on when her mom wasnt looking.
Theres a spoiled brat screaming at his tired mother. The bags under her eyes showing me more then any tear ever could.

An old wrinkly man wiping his running nose with the sleeve of his jacket. Staggering from side to side, smelling of hard liquor. The sadness of a wasted life brushing off on me. Making me reassess my life. I try and swipe it away with my hand. My insecurities or the smell. I do not know. But I fail.

I could have just stayed at home. Away from the misery of the world.

A thought passes through my mind.

A step forward, a step back, shoulders brushing against one another. Greasy hands and smell of Axe deodorant filling the air. Re-gift perfume stinging my nostrils.

Im starting to get anxious to leave. To run away with the small bundle of joy im awaiting. My breathing is speeding, sweat slowly dripping down my face. Getting lightheaded, my vision blurring, the noise around me turning into a dull buzzing. A old man carrying a cane coughs in my general direction. A woman in a red dress steps on my foot with her high heels.

Finally, 2 lost eyes meet my own. I hear nothing, but see the words aimed at me.

Ssssss.... Ssssiiii... Ssssssiiiirrr. Sir!

I manage to get myself together. Pulling myself back into reality. One hand placed on my chest to calm myself.... I look deep into the woman's eyes.

Your "Big Mac Bacon" with fries and coke is ready, sir.

I pick up my tray with a smile on my face. I turn around but out of nowhere that same intoxicating smell of Axe trips my feet... I tumble. My life slowly passing before my eyes as i fall... but all that i could think about was the sweet cheese, the juicy meat, the chemically treated lettuce and the cotton web bread that was slipping from my arms and hitting the ground... Coke refills are free.

Silence ensues all around me.

Fuck. Should have had some pickles and bread and stayed at home.

:D I nominate @doomsdaychassis and @llfarms. (the usual suspects.) :D