Walk on Water
I always believed there was a God. I did not know what type, or what to call him/her. Just that I was left in a very strange situation where I was without human companionship and praying was the only thing getting me through my tough times.
I felt so alone and took comfort there was a God listening and leading me as long as I would let him.
The only time I would attend church was when I traveled back to my parent's home. I would visit their church out of family obligation, it's important to my family and my family is important to me; therefore, I will spend time with them this way.
During one of my visits back home we had a pastor whom spoke English visiting as the guest speaker (my parent's church spoke in Vietnamese) and he spoke about the story of Jesus walking on water. In short, the story of Jesus walking on water is a reflection of faith. His disciples that followed him fully in faith were able to walk on water as well, but as soon as they felt a little fear, a little doubt they would start to sink. I don't know why this particular story drew me in so much, it is a beautiful image that made me curious on what it was like to believe in this God.
In today's present, I am now a believer and journeying on this spiritual path.
In the studies I'm part of, a speaker spoke about taking a step of faith. When the Israelites had to cross the river Jordon, it was significant because none of them knew how to swim. In context the Israelites have been wandering the desert for the last 40 years and have been slaves for the last 400 before that, they weren't taught how to swim. The river Jordon before them was a raging river, imagine a great white rapids would you, and God was calling them to cross it. Impossible right?
But to do it, they needed to have faith in the impossible. They had to act in their faith, take the action to step into the river and God will intervene.
Take that step.
Take that step of faith
It brought me back to the story of Jesus walking on water and my current trail with vulnerability. I take so much comfort in this thought: As long as I fully have faith in him, I can walk on water.
It’s still a really strange juxtapose to hear these thoughts come from me. There's a girl that I used to be, there's a woman I am now, and there is an in between. I see the 20 year old in me looking at my older self with a slight bit of ridicule, "Are you serious?" and all I can do is smile back and hug her and tell her, "I am.