Cook With Us #9 - Funny Kitchen Stories - From Snails to Hammer Soup

What could this concoction be I wonder?

Escargots in Garlic Butter is a favourite with many, but regular old garden snails? I think not!

Source

When I was a tiny toddler, still crawling, Mom left me in the kitchen for a couple of minutes but when she came back, I was nowhere to be found!
I had managed to crawl down the stairs on my own and was happily munching on a snail!
Mom still gets horrified when she talks about it, says it was quite a job getting rid of that slimy mess afterwards, yuk!
I believe that's where my experimenting with food began :)

A sandwich I made for Steemit Sandwich Contest - A Smoked Beef & Avocado Stack which ended up looking like a Swedish Smorgastarta.

I loved cooking from a young age, always helping Gran read the Decipes even though I could not read at this stage but Gran let me pretend.

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When I got to my early teens I was given carte blanche in the kitchen once a week when I would attempt making spectacular meals which often flopped!
My kind and gentle Dad would finish his entire plate of food and tell me how delicious it was.
Of course this inspired me to create tastier meals as it certainly tasted awful to me but my Dad liked it so I had to do better!
I did not twig why my four brothers disappeared from the table one by one. They never finished their dinner the nights I served my concoctions but were given strict instructions not to say anything :)

A weird Elvis lookalike sandwich I made, again for Steemit Sandwich Contest - this one was made famous by Elvis and was filled with Peanut Butter, Jam and Bacon.
Legend had it that Elvis and his mates flew to a Denver diner on his private jet, ordered 22 of these sandwiches and spent two hours eating it with Perrier Champagne before flying back to Graceland!

After school, I landed an apprenticeship with a firm of land surveyors, and made my first Coconut Cake. Being a coconut lover, I got carried away and added far too much coconut to the batter resulting in a very heavy cake!
When I cut the cake in the office, it was rock hard but there was no turning back, everyone had been looking forward to this teatime treat.
My boss had a wicked sense of humour and stood in front of me, biting into the saucer, saying he was not sure if he was eating the cake or the saucer as his teeth nearly broke :)
I was mortified!
Guess what his wife gave me when I was a bride-to-be a couple of years later? Flop Proof Baking, and the recipes in there really are flop proof!

I still have this book today!

Another funny tale was about my Dad, our gentle giant Teddy bear, and Mom who is tiny and just like a Bonsai with thorns at times - you know the saying Dynamite comes in small packages!
All ladies will nod their heads at this one - our menfolk can never find anything, be it car keys, wallet, cell phone or even their tools. Mom really was in top form that day and when Dad asked her where his hammer was, she answered Well I put it in the pot and made soup with it!
Dad sheepishly retreated and did not ask her where his tools were for a long time thereafter ;)

I could just picture Mom's Hammer Soup :)

Then I recently wrote a 50 word story on how I had to break my ankle to get a new kitchen and it went like this:

It was the loose brick that started it all.
A snazzy kitchen was her reward!
Stylish new brick pathway and driveway too.
She could only watch from afar.
Rushing to work, that darn brick gave way right under her foot.
She hears her ankle grind and break as it twists!

And then Mom did her bit as well - she used to love painting so she insisted on painting my kitchen walls as their cottage was all painted out from back to front! She was seventy at the time, but super fit!
Despite warnings about painting when alone, she tackled the job with gusto. This came to a sudden halt though when she called me at the office to say there had been an accident.
Of course I rushed home, imagining all kinds of injuries. Mom called me from the kitchen, nothing wrong with her but pointing to the source of her distress, my glass top stove which she had stepped on and shattered! Luckily she kept her balance but got a huge fright!
So I got my new stove but Mom's career as a painter came to an abrupt halt!

Mom Lily the painter at the age of 70

I have many other little tales to tell, but will keep these short and sweet, don't want to take up all your time now!
A friend and I used to cater for weddings and other special occasions for a while.
So when we went to these venues, things like cooking salt would be placed in a jar.
One night the guest speaker came rushing into the kitchen, asking if he could make himself a cup of coffee as he was dying for a cuppa. We were busy getting the meal cooked and left him to it.
Well , he came rushing back immediately and his face was quite a picture; he had put salt in his coffee and said he took a big gulp as he was thirsty!

On another occasion when we were doing budget catering for a fundraiser. One of the ladies made the chocolate sauce and used ketchup bottles as dispensers, a recipe for disaster we found out!
We hid it at the back of the serving table, but one of the diners spotted it and started pouring it on his food! That Chocolate Ketchup was promptly taken back to the kitchen till dessert was served!

And so my Funny Kitchen Story ends, hope to read all about yours here. Check out the POST for this week's Cook With Us challenge.

A massive thank you to the guys and dolls from @cookwithus - @chefsteve, @pandamama and @offoodandart plus all those wonderful sponsors, and they are @unity, @jepu, @krazykrista, @nutfund and @derangedvisions. You are all amazing :)

Original Content by @lizelle
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Original Content by @lizelle
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Copyright @lizelle - All Rights Reserved

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