Italy has many hidden treasures, as well as dangerous amounts of pasta, pizza and ice cream. When I lived in Italy there was one place I would always rave about to anyone that would listen to me long enough; Cervo

Cervo is in the middle of fucking nowhere. It’s a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ kind of town, but if you are lucky enough to hear about it or even find it, you’ll soon see why it’s my number 1 place I’ve been to of all time, OF ALL TIME! (say it like Kanye...)

...Oh for God’s sake! I’ll ask then; Why is this place so good? Make it quick, my wife thinks I’m looking at porn…

It’s hard to explain, so here’s some pictures and shit:

As you can see it’s like an old Disney town on a steep hill by the sea, with a big old castle bang in the middle of it. There’s beautiful cobbled streets on the windy narrow roads and its old, mega old…

I told Triple M (My Mate Matt) about this legendary place and he kind of tagged along because there was nothing else to do. We hopped on the bus from Diano Marina and from what I could gather from my broken Italian, the scary sweaty man driving the bus said the ticket would last 90 minutes from validation, so as long as we came back in 90 minutes we could use the same ticket. I accepted the fact that we were probably going to get thrown in an Italian prison for avoiding fares, smiled at him and said Grazie in my best Italian accent…

We rocked up to Cervo and Triple M didn’t see much. I hadn’t been in 10 years so I was trying to remember where the entrance was. I knew it was somewhat hidden, but when I found it I ran back like an excited puppy and told him to brace himself as he turned the corner:

This is the sight Triple M was greeted with

Triple M is a proper photographer. Unlike me. I see, I like, I take photo… Triple M would always be particular about what would qualify as ‘bloodyphotoworthy’. However this time he whacked out his phone and took some photos. “EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!” I screamed. I didn’t, but let’s just pretend I did...…

Now it was time to explore. Cervo is a tiny town, so we did it all in about an hour. There was a museum at the top that was closed, so that could have killed some time. We did accidently on purpose invade a school. The school looked derelict, even though there were A4 notices hung up on the noticeboard. There were no fuckers anywhere though, so I ran in and explored, 85% sure that it would be a terrible fucking idea. I didn’t encounter any bosses though, so I escaped unscathed. Level up! Wait a minute, Lewis is evolving:

Lewis evolved into ‘Guy that didn’t pay his bus fare back’

BOO! THIEF!!!!

I know, I’ve let you all down and I’m sorry… Basically we left Cervo after agreeing the place was the bomb diggity, and waited for the bus. Our tickets but not really tickets whatever they were thingys had expired by 5 minutes. Me being the stereotypical honest English citizen I was happy to pay, but being the poor travelling Englishman I waited for someone to physically ask me for the money as money was tight and €1.50 meant a lot to me. No one asked, I felt guilty and I’m pretty sure Italy will want to extradict me when they find out the vast amount of money I avoided to pay for public transport. Ladies, I’m single if you are looking for a bad boy…

And that was it! Now it’s time to do generic tourist stuff. Expect to groan at overdone poses in front of The Leaning Tower of Pisa and me possibly falling into one of Venice’s canals. If not then I’m not really travelling am I…?