I've been slowly working through the estate of a
Christmas ornament fanatic.

I'm talking hundreds. Santas, snowmen, stockings full of gifts, kittens in stockings, puppies in stockings, jingle bells, angels, Santa atop a chimney, Santa in his sleigh, Santa as a European mountaineer... Oh yea, she's got it all.

She even has fruit and vegetable ornaments.
I'd never seen a Christmas ornament in the form of a garlic bulb.
Or an ear of corn, for that matter.

And then there are the old ones. The vintage ones. Worth more? Maybe.
Unnerving to have sitting on your desk staring at you? Absolutely.

So in an effort to dump these as soon as possible so I can get a priest to come over to my house and exorcise any potential "ghosts of Christmas," I've put them up on Facebook and Craigslist with no success.

Not even a bite.

I get it, though. I wouldn't want these things anywhere near me or my family. They just scream 'horror film waiting to happen,' and since they're Christmas ornaments, I figure I still have a few months before they've gathered up all their evil strength and come out of some yearly murder-spree-hiatus.

So I decided to lay it all out.

I wrote an ad that tells it like it is. No trying to sugar coat it. There've got to be some weirdos out there who are into this kind of stuff. Who knows, maybe they won't even buy a Christmas ornament unless it has the potential to haunt their nightmares.

So here you go, here's the ad, with the photos.

(I added my own commentary below the photos.)
Don't blame me if you can't sleep tonight.
By the way, what do you think about "antique" Christmas ornaments?

This is a group of amazing vintage Christmas ornaments! Each is made of delicate glass and handpainted, and so unique, you'll never find another one like it. The moon and droplet-thing are both 4" tall and the fish is 3.5" wide, so that gives you a sense of the size.

These ornaments are absolutely perfect for themed trees that are looking for an old fashioned, traditional style. They are handpainted and made of delicate glass. And did I mention that some of them have glitter?

Retro shoppers, look no further!

The patina of the paints is incomparable and sets a mood of nostalgia, old times, and potential horror story scenarios.

I mean, look at Santa's face.

Believe me, as a collector, you will never ever find a more classic and ominous piece.
I'd keep that one higher than a child's eye-level though.

That Santa looks like he knows exactly when you're sleeping; in fact, he's just waiting for you to go to bed.

And the fish. I mean, come on. What the heck is that??

If for nothing else, you have to get these just to put that fish on the tree.
(Santa might be better suited in a locked box buried in cement
and submerged in holy water.)

The moon is super cool though.

Thanks for taking the time to check them out!

Sweet dreams.