Positive Thinking Cannot Solve all Problems.
Positive thinking is incredibly important, don't mistake me...
AND there are people in first world countries with issues that are greater than the ability of positive thinking. Some people need medications. Some people need extensive therapy. Some people are so mentally ill that they will spend their lives running away from invisible demons and being despised by society for being that homeless babbling idiot.
Yes positive thinking is great but understand you need a basic foundation before it can really work it's magic.
Have you heard of Maslow's Hierarchy?
I find this a great example of what I am trying to express. Yes, we should be positive but when you are struggling for basic survival such as shelter or food, it might not be possible and it is quite patronizing to have people pretending to be "positive" but really just lacking empathy. It is certainly hard to put our feet in another person's shoes but I challenge you to do so. I challenge you to read a book from someone in a country that is ridden with crime and poverty and rethink what you say when you tell people they need to simply be positive.
We never truly know what a person has been through or where they came from and unless you are their therapist you shouldn't pretend you know how to solve their particular complex problems. I once had a roommate who I knew for months before finding out he watched everyone in his family get blown up before moving here with next to nothing. He had obvious issues socializing and mental issues that were deep-rooted.
"Just be Positive" is an over-simplified, watered-down solution to problems almost infinite in complexity. In world torn with war, heinous acts of violence against children and elderly people, greed, and such darkness we must acknowledge that some people will come out damaged in a way that needs more than a positive mind-set.
I could shoot off horror stories that are 100% factual all day and night and I'd run out of saliva to speak before I ran out of stories. If you are able to fix your life by simply thinking more positively that is really awesome and I am not even saying sharing that message is wrong. I am saying that applying it to all people regardless of their situation is kind of wrong. It minimizes and invalidates their struggle and probably makes them feel less free to share them without ridicule and mockery or people telling them they are simply too negative.
If you are spreading positivity that is wonderful but make sure you are also holding empathy. I had two chaplains visit me in the hospital and just listen and say "Well, no wonder you feel at the end of your rope with so much on your plate, how can I help you today?" and I told them they did help me by listening and then acknowledging that my struggle was real and that it couldn't be easily solved even by these pure, loving, religious women who clearly take only the good bits of the bible.
So, I just challenge you to really listen and not use "positive thinking" as a way to ignore real issues.
I know this isn't the most popular opinion but I rarely see this side of things voiced and just felt it should be said. I am also currently reading "behind the beautiful forevers" which is a non-fiction book portraying the struggle of people in India striving to get out of living in literal garbage during a global economic change. I suggest more people familiarize themselves with mental illness, poverty, abuse, trauma and many other issues that can make "thinking positive" not even really possible.
If you want to be helpful and really care then just listen. Don't tell someone else how to manage their baggage. It's fine if you don't want their baggage but don't pretend you know how to handle garbage you didn't live in yourself.
##As always (at least lately as I have grown) I welcome different opinions. I just wanted to share my perspective. :)
Very true. What I find even more powerful than trying to think positive, is to observe your thoughts or emotions. Just really dive into your feelings and feel them. We suffer because we resist, therefore we must really feel them, even though it can heard. Also if we observe thoughts and don't identify with them, but listen to them as thoughts and nothing else. Thank you for your post!
I agree 100%. I have had to really redig intro some serious wounds. Read about my rape and molestation. Write about it. Feel it. Face it. Admit it. I know of people who have died because they never faced it and just continued unhealthy coping mechanisms like addiction to try to push away the thoughts. I don't judge those people because I understand it but I do agree that facing our demons is very important in healing.
Yes, I have read some of your posts. I love to read posts like that because they show the side of life that almost no people dare to show. But this is just an important side of life than the good side. If we really feel our emotions, and don't resist them we heal much faster. Keep going sister! You're a champ for being honest.
Thank you. It sure isn't easy sometimes. I got called a liar, got threatened. All sorts of shit but mostly I got people feeling heard, helped, and touched and that keeps me going.
And the times you don't feel like moving, don't. Just sit and feel. I'm happy I could help! :)
Yes! True positivity doesn't come from forcing positivity, it comes from letting things flow properly! I missed that point in my reply!
Yes, exactly. It can be tough though!
Empathy is a lost trait in modern times. We are a fix it up, put a smile on and don't show your true feelings society. Those hurting are scared to share what's going on and end up addicted to something. Empathy needs to make a come back.
Thank you! I so agree. That is really all I am trying to convey. Like that chaplain listening to me, a staunch atheist, and just taking it in and saying "of course you are feeling so hopeless with all this on your plate" not pretending molestation, chronic pain, and a dead best friend are things you can easily dismiss, not trying to solve it but just listening and being empathetic. It meant so much to me. I feel I finally met some true Christians that really value the good things in the bible. It literally changed my world view to experience just a bit of empathy.
If I had told her about my rape and dead friend and she said to "think positive"I would have just visualized smooshing her head with my fingers or something.
I am a deep rooted christian that would do the same. I am so pathetic as a human that I can only listen and empathize with others. If you ever have questions about christianity I will answer what I can or direct you to who can.
Your more courageous then me because you have shared your story.
If you listen and empathize you are not pathetic at all. You are an angel and god send to many people and I say that as an atheist. Those chaplains changed my life by just listening. We need people like you just as much as people like me. <3
There are two sides to this subject. I believe you are correct, but have had many discussions with people who believe 'what you think changes things'. It appears our life experience forms our adult perspective.
Definitely. That's actually at the core of my point though. Is that our experiences are completely unique thus our mentality, coping mechanisms, resources, and brain chemistry have all been shaped by our own experience and therefore we need not pretend one shoe fits us all. If yoga and positive thinking helped you cool, share it but don't tell people who are talking of starving or homelessness that they need to be more "positive". Because I have seen that a lot. People use it as a casual dismissal, almost to blame the people on their situation.
Yes, of course, when talking about basic needs - there is not to a positive solution. let's be friends and lighting problems, think over their decision and to do something to address them. i try to move in this direction and think not only about people.
That's exactly all I am saying. There is steps before thinking positive. Meeting basic needs is very hard for many and I think it can be essential before being positive to some people. We also must remember everyone reacts differently to everything due to their own life and experiences so expecting something that works for us to work for our friend may not be the most helpful. Just be there and try to help think of solutions, be a shoulder. Whatever. Just don't patronize them. :>
I only care about the base, every day I see the disadvantage and injustice. I have ideas that will solve the issue base. these ideas are on my maximum priority. Was time I just don't want to talk about it and I closed to others. I want to do something and not just talk, but now I understand that you need to open up and trust like-minded people. I consider it necessary to form a Union with people who share the same goals.
Exactly. That is my thought too. I know there are many of us thinking, thinking, thinking, bleeding in our hearts and watching the cruelty and injustice but we are all separated. D:
So what can we do? let's say we already got together and we have some resources - what next?
I am not yet gathered in resources. I have to make my body movable right now. Which I am working on. I have my steem account growing. I do have time and energy to commit to projects though. But, like you, the next step is confusing. I ....I don't know. :(
well we will return to this issue when we're ready, yet, will peruse your blog. and thank you.
I'm not sure how to express how I feel about this. Essentially I do believe that it really does all come down to framing, and what is positive thinking if not framing? But it's also not what everyone needs to hear. There are some experiences in which thinking positive is not in the immediate vicinity of possibilities. That's not to say that it's impossible but to tell someone in that situation that they just need to be positive will come across as an insult to their intelligence.
In many situations, I feel that "just listening" has the opposite effect of making the person feel better, it only serves to let them reinforce whatever beliefs they have that don't serve them. But I'm talking about people who are in a habit of talking about their problems. Of course everyone needs someone to talk to about what burdens them.
This is why it can be pretty detrimental to assume that you can help everyone and that you can intellectualize a standard of help that will have the same benefit for everyone. In general, I do think the answer, is to always move in the direction of being positive, but it's not about forcing that positivity. I don't blame peoples problems on their own negativity and it's not my right to lecture someone on how they should be positive unless they are inviting of that. We are all here on different paths learning different lessons.
I agree. I was meaning when people are suffering to not minimize their suffering with that cliche line. I do think positive thinking matters too but I sure as heck ain't flying around to tell that to starving or sex trafficked kids. And when those kids become severely mentally ill adults because of their abuse I won't tell them to just be positive because that may STILL not be possible. I will accept some people need extensive therapy and help before they can reach that point.
I'm trying to imagine someone saying that to a sex trafficed kid, "Just be positive! It'll get better!" Are there really people like that? Haha I'm sure there are, I'm in my own bubble which is blissfully removed from some of the worst ignorance society has to offer. X-D
I really do love your posts, I will have to snoop around and stalk some of your followers, these are the topics I came here to read about and talk about.
There are because my dad literally sex trafficked me to a group of old guys and I was molested since 5 then kinda thrown into the world and judged HARSHLY by everyone. So maybe they won't say it to the KID but they will expect them to magically function normally as an adult after such a life. They'll be told to "let it go". I'm finally getting therapy but like, we have to accept that some people have really bad lives. People have even worse lives than my terrible life and I certainly am not going to tell them to be more positive.
Wow, that IS a really hard set of experiences for most of us to imagine. Glad you are here to help us, I'm sure I can learn a lot. You are truly awesome for coming so far! I will spend some more time with your posts, I remember seeing one that had a title like it was about your past.
I am just going to preemptively apologize for anything stupid or insensitive I may or may not say in the future. I have nothing but love and support and I'll try to make sure it shows in my words.
I can tell you mean well and are a genuine person and that means a lot. Thank you for taking the time to learn about something that is so foreign to you. I am trying to do the same myself and am coming a long way and finding I can get along with so many more people now. :)
but yes, if a person is stuck in a negativity loop some realism can be useful. Of course, there is no one strategy to helping people in need. You are right. :)
Yes, sometimes just listening can help a lot. I know that helped me in my times of confusion.
It potentially saved my life.
I strongly feel that what your thoughts are tend to find themselves out in the Universe and what you think attracts the natural path of what you reap. Have faith in your thoughts. The universe is powerful.
I have faith in my own beliefs which differ from yours. Do you really think a kid eating actual dirt in a third world country can think their way into a good life? There is actual darkness that thinking can't fix in my opinion. But I do understand that a lot of people share your opinion and that's cool too. I am really just asking people to listen and be empathetic and not use that line as a dismissal.
I see your point and absolutely agree. But perhaps a better path for these children is on the horizon. Children don`t know the power of thought, and naturally children are playfully thinking happy creative thoughts. I agree a hungry child will be hard pressed to be thinking happy thoughts but your thoughts are a destination perhaps in time. You DO make a valid good point.
Yes but they may grow up in a place where bombs are literally going off EVERYWHERE and they can't even move without seeing people die. That is a reality for some people. There are more bombs being dropped in the Middle East now than EVER before in history. That is real suffering and I think applying the "think positive" to that becomes almost offensive.
If safe and having food yes, positive thoughts go a very long way but in my opinion you need the foundation of safety.
I enjoy hearing your thoughts. Thanks for sharing. :)
in my opinion in this scenario it will take more than thoughts to fix things it will take ACTION and that's why I think this mentally can be lacking in empathy when applied to people in such extreme cases of distress.
I am agree with you! upvoted
it boils down to: Positive thinking is only beneficial if you end denial.
Yeah, I don't think ending denial is going to help war torn countries or child sex slaves. I am talking about issues beyond somewhat "normal" lives. I understand if you disagree but we will just have to agree on the disagreeing. :) I personally am trying my very best to be positive and it benefits me but I know that's only because of some luxuries I am afforded such as running water, food, clothing, my family members not exploding to death before my eyes. etc.
child sex slaves only exist due to denial. denial of the men who deny that there is no love involved and that they are basically being evil. denial of the children's free will. denial of the real feelings that cry out to change the situation.
war torn countries are also only able to exist due to denial.
key is to realise that denial OF denial is the real killer.
If you say so man. :)
there is no other possible explanation when denial is understood and felt for what it is.
I really agree on the suggestions. I will keep those in my mind.