Bathhouse- part 1
Drama in six acts
with circus and fireworks
CHARACTERS
Pobedonosikov's comrade is the chief of coordination management,
main points.
Polya is his wife.
Comrade, Optimistico is his secretary.
Isak Belvedonsky is a portraitist, batlistist, naturalist.
Comrade Momentnikov is a reporter.
Mr. Pont Keach is a foreigner.
Comrade Underton is a typist.
The embezzler Nochkin.
Comrade Bicyclebird is a light cavalryman.
Comrade Chudakov is an inventor.
Madame Mesalyapsova is an employee of VOKS.
Comrade Foskin |
Comrade Dvoikin} workers.
Comrade Troikin |
The petitioners.
The forefather.
Producer.
Ivan Ivanovich.
Institutional crowd.
The policeman.
Usher.
Phosphoric woman.
I ACTION
On the right is a table, on the left is a table. Drawing from everywhere and scattered everywhere drawings. 1
In the middle, Comrade Foskin seals the air with a blowtorch. Chudakov goes
from the lamp to the lamp, reviewing the drawing.
Bicycling 2
(in running)
Is there still a vile Volga in the Caspian Sea?
Chudakov 3
(waving a drawing)
Yes, but now it's not for long. Clock lay and sell.
Bicycling 4
It's good that I have not bought them yet.
Chudakov 5
Do not buy! Do not buy in any case! Soon this ticking flat
stupidity will become more ridiculous than the ray on the Dnieper, helpless than the bull in
Avtodore.
Cycling 6
Have unaccepted, then, Switzerland?
Freaks 7
Do not click your tongue in today's small political accounts! My
the idea is more grandiose. The Volga of human time, into which we, like logs in
rafting, throwing our birth, throwing floundering and going with the flow - this
The Volga now obeys us. I will make time and stand and rush in any
direction and at any speed. People can climb out of days like passengers
from trams and buses, With my car you can stop a second of happiness
and enjoy the month until you get bored. With my car you can whirl
stretched tight years of grief, draw your head in your shoulders, and over you, do not
grazing and not wounding, a shell of the sun will rush a hundred times a minute,
finishing the black days. Look, the fireworks fantasies of Wales,
futuristic brain Einstein, bestial skills of hibernation bears and yogis -
everything, everything is compressed, compressed and merged in this machine.
Bicycles 8
I do not understand almost anything, and in any case, I do not see anything at all.
Freaks
Yes, but you're glasses! You are blinded by these platters of platinum and crystal, this 9
shine of the plexus. You see? See? ..
Bicybodin 10
Well, I see ...
Chadakov 11
Look, you noticed these two rulers, horizontal and vertical,
with divisions, as on the scales?
Bicycling 12
Well, I see ...
Chudakov 13
With these rulers you measure the cube of the necessary space. Look, you
Do you see this wheel regulator?
Bicybodin 14
Well, I see ...
Freaks 15
With this key you isolate the included space and cut it off from all
weights all the streams of gravity and these strange strings
turn on the speed and direction of time.
Bicycling 16
I see! Zd_o_vo! Unusually! This means going, for example,
All-Union Congress on the issue of calming the questions raised, well, and,
of course, a word is given for greetings from the State Academy
scientific works to state friend Kogan, and as soon as he began:
"Comrades, through the tentacles of world imperialism, a red thread passes through
wave ... "- I shield it from the presidium and start the time with the speed
a hundred and fifty minutes in a quarter of an hour. He himself sweats, greets, welcomes
and sweats for an hour and a half, and the public looks: the academician only opened his mouth - and already
deafening applause. All sighed with relief, raised from the seats
fresh backs and go work. So?
Freaks 17
Phew, what a shame! Why are you giving me some Kogan? I'm explaining to you
This is a matter of universal relativity, the translation of the definition of time from
metaphysical substance, from noumena to reality, subject to chemical and
physical impact.
Bicycling 18
And what am I saying? I say this: you yourself build a real station with
full chemical and physical impact, and we will conduct wires from it,
well, let's say, for all chicken incubators, at fifteen minutes we will cultivate
half-pood chicken, and then to her under the wings plug, turn off the time - and
sit, chicken, and wait until you are fried and eaten.
Chudakov 19
What kind of incubators, what kind of chicken? !! I told you ...
Bicybodin 20
Yes, all right, all right, you think to yourself though about elephants, though about giraffes,
if you talk about petty cattle and think humiliating. And we all this to our
We will adapt the gray chickens ourselves ...
Freaks 21
Well, what a vulgarity! I feel that you are with your practical
materialism soon you'll make a chicken out of me. I'll swing a bit and want
you fly out of me feathers plucking.
Bicybodin 22
Well, okay, okay, do not get excited. And if I even have a feather and
plucked, you're sorry, I'll put it back for you. Fly, wager, fantasize, we
your enthusiasm are helpers, not a hindrance. Well, do not be angry, boy, run,
twist your car. Why help something?
Freaks 23
Attention! I just touch the wheel, and time rushes and starts to squeeze and
To change the space enclosed in the cage of insulators. Now I beat
bread from all prophets, fortune tellers and fortune tellers.
Bicycles 24
Wait, Chudakov, let me be here, maybe I'll be out in five minutes.
Komsomolets in a sort of bearded Marx. Or not, I'll be an old Bolshevik with
three hundred years of experience. I'll have you all right then.
Chudakov 25
(pulling away, frightened)
Careful, crazy! If in the coming years the steel
the farm of the underground road, then, enclosing its frail body in the steel-occupied
space, you instantly turn into a tooth powder. And, perhaps, in
The coming cars are off the rails, and here an unprecedented shock of a thousand
points to the devil's grandmother will turn the entire cellar. Now it is dangerous to start up
there, it is necessary to wait for those going from there. I turn slowly-slowly - only in
minute five years ...
Foskin 26
Wait, comrade, wait a minute. You still have to twist the car.
Do me a favor, put your bond in your car, - I'm not in vain for it
grabbed and did not sell - maybe she will win a hundred thousand in five minutes.
Bicycling 27
Guessed! Then there the entire Narkomfin with Bryukhanov should be shoved, or else
Well, you win, but they still will not believe you - the table will be asked.
Chudakov 28
Well, I'm punching you into the future door, and you have slipped into rubles ... Fu,
historical materialists!
Foskin 29
Dura, I'm in a hurry for you with a win. You have your experience is
money?
Chudakov 30
Yes ... Is there money?
Bicybodin 31
Money?
A knock at the door. Enter Ivan Ivanovich, Pont Kech, Mizayansov and 32
Instantplayers.
Mesaliansova 33
(To Chudakov)
Do you speak English? Oh, so sprechen zi deych? Parle-wu franc, finally?
Well, I knew that! This is very tiring. I'm forced to do a tracution with
our workers 'and peasants'. Monsieur Ivan Ivanovich, comrade Ivan Ivanovich!
You, of course, know Ivan Ivanovich?
Ivan Ivanovich 34
Hello, hello, dear comrade! Do not be shy! I
I show our achievements, as Alexey Maksimych likes to say. I myself
sometimes ... but, you see, this load! We, the workers and peasants, are very,
I really need my own, the red Edison. Of course, the crisis of our growth, small
the shortcomings of the mechanism, the wood is cut - the chips fly ... Another effort - and this
will be obsolete. Do you have a phone? Ah, you do not have a phone! Well, I'll say
Nikolai Ivanovich, he will not refuse. But if he refuses, you can go to the very
Vladimir Panfilych, he, of course, will meet halfway. After all, even Semyon
Semenovich constantly tells me: "We need," he says, "us, the workers and
peasants, you need a red, your own, the Soviet Edison. " Comrade Momentalnikov,
it is necessary to open a wide campaign.
Disclaimer: I just found these in my library. I do not have the rights to them,
I just them and decided to share them with you.