How to have an Autism Friendly Christmas 2016
This Christmas was an epic success, today both Katana and Kai were thrilled when they finally realised it's Christmas - or should I say that they were getting presents.
Neither of them truly understand what most celebrations are even when we talk to them about it, what they do understand is TOYS.
I am so thrilled and relieved to say that today was a major success for our little family, Christmas has often ended up in tears and massive meltdowns that can take the kids weeks to recover from.
Katana and Kai had an amazing day today, they were ecstatic they loved their new toys and I don't think we had any rejections this year.
I am simply overjoyed that they both talked so much today, only words here and there but so much talking it was really amazing to hear - especially given they are both nonverbal.
I can't express how amazing and rare a day like today was for our little family, we played, talked and enjoyed each other's company and somehow managed it all with no major meltdowns - this is a massive success!
This year I relied on my now 7 years experience to figure out, what was the safest and easiest way to ensure everyone had a happy and enjoyable Christmas.
Having Christmas with two Autistic children can be a massive challenge, but over the past seven years I have learned a few things on how to have an Autism friendly Christmas.
The first thing I learned many years ago was to unbox all their presents, with my kids you can buy the perfect gift but if they can't have access to it immediately - they will end up confused and inevitably this will result in a massive meltdown.
Along with this I don't gift wrap their presents, simply because they don't understand that there is something they will like inside - it's a logic jump they just haven't made yet.
I have learned it's best to get a few things you know they love and use regularly in the house, as all items are chewed so we constantly need replacements.
This also protects you from them completely rejecting your gifts because none of them are familiar, this has happened to me in the past and I always try and learn from these mistakes.
Along with familiar toys and similar ones I ensure to include at least one new untried item, you never know it could be a massive hit.
I no longer try to prepare a huge feast with lots of fancy dishes, as both of my kids have severe eating restrictions they have self imposed.
I will prepare the food they would usually eat, but as Katana enjoys sweets she gets lollies - we offer them to Kai but he just has no interest.
We no longer travel to visit family on Christmas day because both of them struggle with unfamiliar places, our family is 3 hours away so we don't get to visit too often.
We also tend to postpone all family gatherings until a few days after Christmas and we usually only see smaller groups at a time, this is because our family is quite large and Kai in particular shuts down if there are too many people - even if they are familiar.
This year we gave up on the Christmas tree and instead opted for table top decorations that I set up the night before, this helps with forgoing the wrapping paper as well.
I am a big fan of this new attempt I missed the tree, but last year we found them both chewing on different decorations and on one occasion Kai was laying under the tree chewing the live Christmas lights - so needless to say it's just not worth the risk.
Plus this method gave me the added bonus of when Kai and Katana had lost their interest in toys and moved onto the decorations, It was a really simple and quick clean - they are already packed away now.
The greatest lesson I have learned is to not build up expectations and not to put too much pressure on my kids to participate in an event they just don't understand.
If we did force them to join in it would be more for us than them, they are happy and content at home and as they are - and why shouldn't they be on Christmas?
Since I have learned these simple truths for my children and implemented them into our yearly cycle, Christmas and other yearly festivities have become happier and calmer events that my kids actually enjoy.
Here's some Photos of our 2016 Christmas setup:
I may have been up until the early hours of the morning setting up all the decorations, unboxing presents and setting everything up - but it was all worth it to see how happy they were today.
I think taking some pressure off at Christmas, could make everyone a bit happier and able to truly enjoy the festive season.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas, I hope your day is as amazing as ours was!
or follow me on twitter @krystlehaines
Merry Christmas!!!
Very cool. We also have a 3 yr old little boy on the spectrum who is non-verbal, and Christmas for the past couple of years has been both over his head and pretty underwhelming. We've learned to have him open the presents we thought he would cling to the most for last rather than first so he can make it through the remaining presents without getting distracted by that first one. This year was actually pretty successful for us as well, as he managed to make it through the entire thing while LOVING tearing into presents. LOL
As far as meltdowns go, ours aren't bad. I mean, they are bad, but they're not so bad that they linger. They could definitely be worse. I give him a couple more years of Christmas trees and Santa Claus for him to really get the sense of Christmas approaching and get excited about it.
Yeah this year was definitely our best so far in how they handled the change in routine, up until now most years they have been a little on the under enthused side of things.
There was a lot of fun and laughter today, I am happy to hear your Christmas was a success as well - it can be hard and usually on the big days in life.
Both our kids have pretty epic meltdowns but Kai's definitely reign supreme, he can get quite violent when he has a meltdown - kicking, hitting, headbutting and biting are not uncommon.
The worst part of his meltdowns is they can last for hours and hours, during one of his worst meltdowns he fell asleep kicking and screaming - slept for 2 hours then when he woke back up, the meltdown continued like he had been awake the whole time.
I am looking forward to the next few years Christmases as well, I think with the massive improvements this year next year can go even better :)
Well this was simply an awesome post! You clearly worked incredibly hard to make this a special day for your kids! Your kids are lucky to have you. Have a Merry Christmas.
Thanks so much!
I really do try to create a special day for them, it's just different to how most people tend to do Christmas these days.
I'm lucky to have them, they experience the world different to us when they are happy they are overjoyed - they truly know how to live in the moment, act like no ones watching and really enjoy the simple things in life!
Merry Christmas :D
Awesome post, Merry Christmas.
Thanks so much and Merry Christmas to you too :)
Merry Christmas @krystle!
Thanks I hope you have a Merry Christmas as well