The life of an helpless untalented mother!!!

The life of an helpless mother!!!

It was a journey getting to this point but here it goes. I suck at life. I'm 33 years old and a single mother. (the only real good thing about me).

I'm jobless and as of next week possibly homeless. my fiance, who is amazing, doesn't even see what a loser I am. I'm scared that at any point, feds will bust on my door and arrest me in front of my son because of how bad my credit score is and the fact that I owe everyone money. I don't talk to anyone. I am soo ashamed of being so broke that my son went to bed hungry tonight. I'm just happy he has free lunches at his school at least he will be able to eat at least 2 good meals a day.

I lie to everyone. I make everything look like we're doing ok, on the inside I'm screaming help me please. I don't know what I'm doing.

I started smoking weed this year. it helps with my anxiety but it made me realize how much everything doesn't matter. we put so much value on material objects, that human beings and life experiences are explained in the saying "your lazy", when I know I'm not.

I love to work. I don't think anyone would love to hire a fat pig like me. I have no self control. All I think about all day is my next bill and how are we going to pay it everyday.

No rest, no vacations and no breaks. I'm a horrible mom. my son literally sat in the apartment all day doing nothing. like everyday. he gets fatter and fatter but I can't stop this cycle. I want to change his life.

I want to wake up one day with all the answers. how do I get better? how do I become a better mom? When will I be financially stable???

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