MEN AND SEX

So, this friend of mine gave this Hausa man my phone number. He immediately started sending me messages and texts on whatsapp, wanting to meet up. After months of enduring his disturbance, I agreed to meet him for the first time, but not alone. Men can be funny sometimes.

So, he and his friend came over to pick my friend and I with their car and took to us to get drinks. He sat beside me at the back and his friend with my friend, in front. She was comfortable but I wasn’t because he kept trying to touch me and I wasn’t at ease. I warned him and he kept his hands to himself. After the date, he said he wanted to take me somewhere else, I told him not without my friend. Ladies and gentlemen, he took me to a room. On a first date! I looked at him scornfully and walked out. “konji” had held him so bad, he had forgotten his manners. I told my friend and she laughed. Not that I’m busty or very curvy or bootylicious. I even wore a long dress.

That incident put it in my mind that “men are just all about sex” but you really cannot blame me because; my first relationship failed because I wasn’t sexually active with him. Every other guy I was in a relationship with requested for it and because I’m not supposed to be sexually intimate with any man unless I’m married to him. So, we either broke up or the relationship went sour. As a single lady, I’m still being chased for ‘sex’ and not a ‘relationship’. So what’s it with guys and sex?

Looking at it from a man’s point of view might be hard for us ladies. We need romance, passion, chemistry, love, verbal communication and so much more to assure us that our relationship is strong. But men on the other hand are straight forward and almost primal in their needs and need to have sex in a relationship because it shows “strength” and “unity”.

The way they connect; They think of sex as the one thing that keeps them connected to their partner. They want to be sure he is a priority, and show that you really care about him. It is true this act draws two people close, no matter what else is going on or how far apart you both may feel sometimes. I personally discovered that, when a guy asks for sex, he’s probably not asking for the physical pleasure, he wants to use it as a weapon to draw you close and keep you for himself. It’s how some men “mark their territory”. They might not verbally tell you that they love you, but with the act they can show you how they really feel.

They think of it as a way to stay close; my friend had sex with guy, her hot neighbour, just for the fun of it. They liked each other before it, but after it, they bonded in another kind of way. He wasn’t in a relationship but he had girls all around. He told her “I did it because I want you to be more to me than a friend, I’m coming back for you anyways.” And in truth he did. He wanted her to remember the great time they had. He used that avenue to remain close to her, regardless of distance and time apart.

The male ego is often tied to sex; the ego of a man can be very, I mean very fragile and it being tied to sex is what motivates him, keeps him going. They like to feel on top of the game. For the bad part of it we have players who like to get into the skirts of prominent women who play hard to get. They like to feel like a conqueror. It is important for him to please his woman and he’s very proud about it when he does. But, when you constantly dismiss his sexual skill, he may take it very personal.

They love sex for sex’s sake; Men enjoy sex a lot, and would want their partners to enjoy it the same way they do. It’s not just about dominating the woman, but ravishing her as well. But for the bad part of it, some men can’t control themselves. OR they do not enjoy the sex they get from their partners and resort to other solutions, keeping side chicks who do them well, treat them right and feed their ego.

They love to be praised; men also love to receive compliments, as it boosts their sexual confidence. Men are conditioned to worry about size, performance and the like. That’s a lot of pressure on them but when you share positive affirmations with him, it not only takes the pressure away, but confirms your love for him.

Well, single (even all you who are dating are still single because you are prone to being dumped) ladies I advise you think well before giving a man the advantage. Let’s face it all men aren’t true and honest. Some maybe married and claim to not be. They get sexually involved with you because their wives don’t give them what they want.

Asides from that, you should know the kind of man he is, before venturing into the sexual side. Maybe he’s a player and wants someone he’d use to clean his system. Men are good at deceiving us, you never can tell. Some men just want to lay you so that they can boast about it to their friends. Some have no sex control, some like variety, some like big breasts and buttocks (thick or skinny). I only advise to be careful. Remain celibate or virgin. But if not, be careful.

For the married women, you shouldn’t deny him of sex. If he loved you out of the many to give you his last name, he only wants to bond with you sexually. Don’t push him away.

Hope you enjoyed. Please leave your comments. This topic is very debatable.