Daily Thoughts #50: Negotiation Skill - A Survival Skill

When I was on road to China Visa Center in Hampshire Place, I was listening to some podcast about negotiation. The content was interesting and I would like to make a note about what I gained from this short clip about this topic.

Source

Negotiation is a skill that everyone knows but not necessary master it. There is always ways to improve negotiation depend on our experience and observant on others’ physical, aura, expression and mood. Some situation like discussing where to go for travel with family or couple, asking for a raise, closing a business deal, all of these need negotiation.

There are 4 mistakes that we usually do when we are negotiating:

1 - Never threaten others

Sometime when we are negotiating, we tend to threaten the other like this: if you do not do A (something you want the other to do), I will do B (as a revenge for not following your terms)… However, this will not lead to any good ending and it may even jeopardize the whole negotiation. The tip for this is not to sound very threatening but considerate. For example: Doing A (something you want the other to do) is something happy/satisfying/beneficial/impactful for both of us which you can get your ‘reward’ too. Nonetheless, the opportunity comes only when you are willing to do A together, then only you get the ‘reward’. Basically, it is like stating the ending that we aim for, then only reinstate the ‘force’ for the other to follow. Hopefully it is not that confusing, I still need some polish on the application though.

2 – Do not set a specific time frame as a pressure to come into conclusion

Putting time pressure on other to close the deal is a big No in negotiation. When the opponent felt that you are using your authority and method to suppress, then most likely things will not go as plan. In a negotiation, there are usually different terms to be agreed upon. Choose those which are likely and easily agreeable, slowly work towards the hardest part (which is usually the vital parts). That will make the opponent feel better and less provocative. One more point is that, never to mention any plan B in negotiation. It is basically a mock towards your opponent if you mentioned that without your collaboration, I have other alternatives. The tip for this is to stick on your terms and principle and negotiate until the end. That will show your sincerity in the long run.

3 – Emotional control

In a negotiation, the highest risk of all is emotional breakdown. Things easily get tensed when we try to fight for more rights and beneficial terms to each other end, which we will tend to easily get aggressive. When your opponent senses that you are not being friendly and trying to exploit, any proposal brought up will be just an empty talk. A negotiation should be carried out in a calm and rational environment. If you find your opponent to be emotionally unstable, try to calm them down by apologizing, show some care and try to understand others’ perspective. This will let them loosen their guard which makes the negotiation sustainable.

4 – It is all about others

Last but not least, we should focus on our opponent during any negotiation. The wisest way is always to think what we can do for others and what others desire to have. Once we grasp that information, then only we can use that as our ‘offering’ and demand for ourselves. For example: if you are to ask for a raise, should you ask directly to your boss to raise your salary? Of course not. It should be the other way round whereby you can ask your boss what you should do in order to get a raise in salary. That will make things clear and fair for both parties.

Negotiation itself is a lifelong learning process, I would say. It is always interesting to see how people negotiate and get what they want while satisfying all the parties as well. Even our civilization is built on negotiation between people. Without this skill, we may not move as far as we cannot establish a mutual understanding between each other.

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