Masturbation and Porn Addiction

I recently started being an administrator on a facebook page for porn and masturbation addiction. Although I do not have this specific addiction, I do have OCD, and the two are strikingly similar. I have always equated OCD to a form of addiction, so the process I have walked with it is similar to walking out of any addiction.

Similarly, those that are addicted to something like porn and masturbation are obsessively compelled to look at porn or any stimulating images, and/or to masturbate, and feel they cannot control it - an obsessive compulsion causing disorder in their lives. The two are the same, just different media.

This process has been an amazing experience for me to walk thus far, as each time a member reaches out for assistance and support, I am able to place myself in their shoes and walk with them, always learning, sharing applications that have worked for me, and learn from their experiences as well.

The reason I became an administrator is because there are simply too many members for the current team to moderate. On top of screening members and offering support, we must also watch out for abusive behaviour, which is rampant there.

But the question I must ask myself is: why are there so many suffering from this addiction? What is inside of us that we are trying to cover up with these good physical feelings, and trying to escape?

I recently looked within myself to answer this question. I lay on my bed and gave myself permission to let out whatever was inside. What I experienced was like explosive pressure looking for release. I tried giving myself an orgasm to see if that would be release, and it was, but I had more in me. I continued to lie and focus on letting go. I allowed whatever was in me to come up and out. What ensued was crying. Not a quiet silent weeping, but a good cry like the kind I used to experience as a child, and then with that release came laughter. Good hearty laughter which, if anyone were to have observe the sequence of events, they would probably think I was loosing my mind.

Crazy.

But what is really crazy is how we keep ourselves bottled up, pent up and suppressed.

I observed myself over the next couple of days to see how, when and why this internal energy was created. What I observed and learned was that it is not enough to simply allow this to continue and then let it out every now and then. It is a participation in the mind in a way that is not serving us. The mind is like a tool, and can be used towards reaching our utmost potential, or, if left unchecked, can lead to habits and patterns of addiction and otherwise destructive and self-limiting behaviour.

Everyone functions differently, so for me, I do see that I put emotional and feeling energy in with many small thoughts I have throughout the day, and that energy never leaves unless I make a directed effort to let it go. I find self-forgiveness also has the same effect when it is done in self-awareness ad self-honesty, and I endeavor to to this daily, but when I don't, there is no release, and it has to come out physically, through these self-directed releases, as well as things like physical activity and exercise like yoga, walking or biking, where I am focusing on letting out the energy through the movements. I can feel it, I know it is happening. If I am in my mind continuously thinking and reacting to my thoughts while doing these things, then it is a moot point - nothing is gained, no release is possible. I must be here with breath.

As I practice using my mind to instead direct me through my day, I experience these "I've-got-my-shit-together" moments where I am on top of everything. not only the tasks, obligations or responsibilities that need to get done, but also the self-care and nurturing. Making sure I am getting enough sleep, that I am organized with clothes and food for my work week so that I eat nutritiously and don't stress in the mornings before work. Arrive at work on time in a stable mental state so that I can take on the day without becoming stressed, anxious and overwhelmed so that I perform better and feel better.

When I use my mind to my benefit like this, my relationships with those around me also open up. My mind is not branching off into a million different directions, causing not only a lack of presence in my daily participations, but also creating these emotional and feeling energies that actually have an effect on who I am, how I am and how I behave and interact. We can so easily let this shit build up and then lash out or blame those around us, but I can speak from personal experience when I say that, when I have my shit together I change who I am within my life and living, so this proves that it is never about everybody else at all.

An addiction to porn and masturbation is a complex issue with many dimensions which the members of the group get to know about themselves. It is truly an amazing thing to witness and be a part of people changing themselves and not giving up. I am continuously inspired by these men and women.

The truth is that we all have this shit inside of us, effecting us in every way. It's this energy that needs to be released and sorted out and stopped. But mostly we are not doing enough to assist and support ourselves to find constructive ways to do this, and we end up being the most destructive forces in our own lives.

An addiction to masturbation and porn for example, leads to individuals that find themselves unable to participate in normal relations with intimate partners. They have not yet developed the ability to create that intimacy, trust and respect that makes intimate relationships deep, sound and fulfilling. This is something I am also working on with my partner, through putting work and effort in, not participating in fantasy, imagination and basically mind-porn when we are together, practicing open communication and dialogue, and pushing ourselves to be vulnerable with each other.

If you or anyone you know requires support with this issue, I would strongly suggest you visit the facebook page I mentioned. I will post the link below. The moderators are some of the most caring and non-judgmental people I have ever worked with, and the support offered there is first class.

Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/167089990144572/