ILY: Again and Again and Again

Love is such a wonderful feeling, especially when it's just beginning; Cloud Nine, as some may say. It can overwhelm you, consume you, captivate you, or control you; When you are newly in love, sometimes you feel like you're on top of the world and that there is nothing that you can't do. You are so filled with it that nothing can ever seem wrong to you.

And then, that feeling gradually subsides. You still love that special person but you don't go head over heels for them anymore. You've lost that cloud nine feeling. Things are still well at first. You can still see eye to eye, you still feel that desire to be with that someone, and you still want to do all you can to make your loved one happy; to make it work out between the two of you. And it goes on well IF you could work things out together and adjust to the changes, despite all the differences and misunderstandings you might have.

But often these happen: You start seeing the wrong things that you were blind to before and you realize that you couldn't put up with such anymore. You no longer see eye to eye and begin to quarrel, up to the point of counting off and throwing into each other's faces, all the good you've done for the other. The relationship is no longer good for either of you. And eventually it all leads to a break-up.

What happens after you fall out of love?

Sometimes it is difficult to get things back the way they were before all hell broke loose, but if you could do it, it would totally be worth the effort. Because in the first place, you went into a relationship so that you could take things a step higher, and just because it didn't work out the way you wanted it doesn't mean you should lose everything. It was never meant to be just between winning and losing; that only if you win would you be able to continue, and if you lose, all the progress, everything, gets thrown away just like that. The least you could do is revert back to before you made the leap. And from then, you could decide on a new course of action. But so often, people find it hard to patch things up after a tragic ending to a beautiful memory. And that is why, so many former lovers become strangers to each other, as if they never made good memories; as if all of those memories were just dreams that never happened.

But what if......you still love that person after all?

That is why, it is crucially important to be friends again with that former love. We never know when it was just anger or some negative emotion that had gotten out of hand which caused a beautiful story to meet its untimely ending. And if to say, that it really wasn't meant to be the two of you, wouldn't it be better and so much easier for the two of you if you know that you've parted on a good note and can proceed on having an even better friendship that you've once had? Because really, now there is that person who could give you advice if ever you start a new relationship. Some might say that it's awkward or maybe even uncouth to ask a former lover some advice on your present relationship, but really, isn't the point of mistakes to make sure you learn from them and be better? And no, the mistake is not the person you were once with, but it is certain things you have done with the person you were once with. Now, if ever you slip up, you would already have an idea of what might have gone wrong and how to fix it.

Now, back to the question. What if you still love that someone after all?

Yes, indeed. Because some things can't be all gone just like that. You went through things together more so even before you got into a relationship. That had to have some impact or left some memory in both of you. And let's face it, you will always feel something for someone you were once with. It can be just a bit of care; a residue. No matter how much you deny it, it is there.

Can you still try again?

They say that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, but even if that were true, lightning isn't necessary to spark the love between people, and it follows that one doesn't need it to bring back any spark that might have been lost.

And who's to say love can't have a restart? Just because you fell apart before doesn't mean you can't fall back together. All that is needed is another chance and two people who are willing to try again. If you know that you almost had it, wouldn't you want to see if you could get it if you were to give it another shot?

How would you know when to stop trying?

A lot of people believe in second chances. And often, that is the only thing they are willing to give. But think about this, there are so many numbers in the numerical system, and beyond that is what we call "infinite", why settle for only a second? The problem with people is that they are afraid of trying, and that is because they don't know what could happen. And when they have tried, they don't want to do it again because they've gotten hurt once, and they don't want it to happen again. And then they wonder why they aren't happy or contented. There is a saying, no pain no gain. It will hurt, but trying is the only way you could get a shot at what you want.

When do you stop trying? The better question is, When do you want to stop trying? Because as long as you still want to try, then don't stop. As long as you continue to wonder or ask yourself "What if..?", then that means there is a part of you that still wants another shot. No matter how many times you've tried, you will always regret it if you gave up when you still wonder what could've been if you kept trying.

What you want to do is still your choice. If you two come back together, it is because of the decisions you have made, just as you two fell apart then because of your decisions then. Two people who are destined for each other do not always end up together, because often they are afraid to take the leap, especially if they missed the spot before. But then there are reasons why they didn't make it then.

Because maybe it wasn't the right time then; maybe you two weren't really ready yet; or maybe this all happened on purpose so that you two would learn before you embarked on the journey of forever.

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