Writing is Cathartic

kazumi (47)in #writing • 10 years ago

To me, there was never any better feeling in the world than writing.
Whether I was writing a short story, essay, summary, poem or even divulging my most heartfelt emotions and secrets to a blank sheet of paper; writing had a cathartic effect on me.
Pen and paper (...well a keyboard and a blank space) could not judge me and I felt free to express myself using words. I struggled with numerous issues in my life like depression, loneliness and a whole list of other things which I'll cover in another post.

Sometimes it was so difficult to quantify or word what I meant or how I felt and writing allowed me to explore these aspects. Life was and still is extremely confusing. Even at 22, Im still tryna figure stuff out.
But I digress....

Writing has always been a passion of mine (which is ironic since I am more loquacious). I started journaling or keeping a physical diary at the age of 14 (I think >.>). Oftentimes I felt alone and had no one to truly confide in or talk about my problems with so I started writing to relieve my stress and various burdens. (never had an imaginary friend but I used to talk to myself alot)
I initially wrote to analyze my problems and solve it and it was relieving to release all my negative feelings or thoughts on paper.

{I also did journal about boys, preteen love, unrequited love, secret crushes, happy moments in my life, the usual 14 y.o. girl stuff etc....}

It felt absolutely relieving to confide my feelings, fears, hopes, dreams and random babbles about chicken nuggets on paper knowing that the comforting pages of the diary could never spring to life and tell my secrets to anyone because well... books don't just come alive like they used to.

It was all amazing until my wretch of a brother found my diary and read it..... :/
You could imagine my surprise when I walked in on my brother on the floor of my room, crosslegged with my diary in the palm of his scummy hands. Well if you can't imagine, here is a close example of what I looked like:

I was infuriated to say the least. I absolutely wanted to chokeslam that little runt. Instead I sought revenge in a more creative way XD

I was disheartened and felt sort of betrayed. It was as though a tiny piece inside me was taken away from me without my permission, without my knowledge... it really hurt. I had to burn my old diary and get rid of it completely. I did not want someone else discovering and reading my diary.

So I turned to online journaling instead. The switch from paper to screens was slightly jarring at first..but I eventually embraced it as a new and hopefully more secure way to express my feelings and myself with no inhibitions.

SO began my love-hate relationship with the written word.
That's all for this post.