POEM: Melting My Ice
This poem was written during the slow death of a relationship. Took me another seven months to leave… Leaving is hard.
Sadly, some of this still applies in my current relationship, so I guess I have to nurture the vulnerable, artistic bits myself. No one person can be everything to another. Community is key. (Thank Goddess for the writers and artists I’ve found online!)
Anyway, perhaps you can relate to bits of this. Hopefully not, but… here it is.
Melting My Ice
I want to sing the words of my heart
And have them be heard deeply,
Held as something sacred and precious,
An offering of my essence.
Perhaps layers of my past
Propel my need for affection,
Acknowledgment, and passion…
Send me seeking a more intimate connection.
I would that my love for you be pure,
But instead I catch fleeting glances
Between the weakness of attachment and
Bitterness, wishing for new chances.
This guarding of myself,
This bracing of my heart I can endure…
But I will not choose to do so for long.
My spirit is strong.
I deserve to fly like a raven on a wind
Soaring inside the eyes of another,
Into an imagination as wild as mine
Through dreams woven bright with colour.
Achingly, I want one who inspires me,
Encourages the soft and melting of me,
Holds and soothes the vulnerable,
Rather than invoking the ice in me.
My desire is fierce,
With beauty, grace, longing and tears.
I will ride alone through the trees and stars
To live as I must, and let you be who you are.
Original writing by Katrina Ariel
Thanks for reading! Stay true to yourself.
Peace. @katrina-ariel
Banner courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
It takes a lot of trust to sing the words of your heart, @katrina-ariel, and I hear them deeply. To have them fall on deaf ears, what tragedy! truly, what burden.
I think that the needs of affection, acknowledgment, and passion are not rooted in your past, but in the past of our species - especially in those we choose to be our partners.
A life of vivid color lies in these, a life of joy; pallid and grayscale is the life without. In friends or partners, you identify their importance, and damn how important they are.
"and for what" resides in between the space of many of these lines, and for good reason - it builds well into your turn, this wonderful and full-bodied stanza:
You can't help but smile reading it!
Even with the sadness that is present here, you have conveyed the necessity of it, the reasons why that sadness must exist because it can lead to a more fulfilling happiness, a more fulfilling life!
This is so hard to do in writing, the conveying of the depth and complexity of multiple facets of emotional struggle, yet you have made it personal and yours here, @katrina-ariel, and I'm honored to read it.
Thank you for the share.
Yeah, so I'm actually tearing up reading your comment, @carmalain7. Sometimes being a writer/artist creates loneliness even when you're not alone. There's where community comes in. And that turn... I think it's important to take responsibility for my needs, and my own part in meeting them. Perhaps the "imagination as wild as mine" is the imaginations of many, of the artists I find scattered across the world. Thank you for hearing me. It means so much!
Community and friends are here for you always, my friend. I'm sure you hear this a lot because it is exemplified in all that you do, so know that you are always stronger than you give yourself credit for, @katrina-ariel.
I think it is the imaginations of many, too! The world of artists and dreamers! Not one, I think, that can't be achieved.
Beautiful :) The slow hard breaks are the worst...but maybe we learn the most from those?
God, I hope I learned from it. lol! hides in uncertainty that some lessons are still playing out...
Ah, well. This is part of the human experience. At least writing helps me see things more clearly, sometimes. Thanks for reading!
Exactly! I don't think life lessons are ever finished playing out. We just get smarter at dealing with them. No one's perfect :) Writing helps me as well!
Thank you @katrina-ariel , Really beautiful. I have been married and with my wife for going on 13 years. But I remember past relationships where it would hit me so hard I couldn't eat drink or sleep.
It was Hell. really. Waiting for that phone call and NEVER getting it. And I me literally NEVER getting it or hearing from that Love again. . Glad that time was over with (circa. Spring 1992.. Tragically I found out via MySpace years later she Hanged herself in 96' )
Ugh. That's a hard one, especially how it turned out... but we can only ever make choices for ourselves. I'm glad you found your wife. Congrats on 13 years! That's a long time. :)
Thank you @katrina-ariel
Good work
Yes, you are, who you will be you are..
This is beautiful @katreina-ariel. My heart was aching while reading it! I hope you find the soulmate that you deserve :)
Aw, thank you my friend. :)
"My desire is fierce,
With beauty, grace, longing and tears.
I will ride alone through the trees and stars
To live as I must, and let you be who you are."
What bittersweet words, and very powerful. I hope you are currently experiencing happiness in life...I am no stranger to these feelings, wanting someone who evokes inspiration and warmth. Not to be too personal, but my current situation evokes some chill towards the one I'm supposed to love. I think it's common for a woman to imagine that perfect situation, and desire what could be. Thank you for your beautiful words!! :)
Yes. I think it's very common. But I also think men and women are so different, does what we think would be "perfect" actually exist? Probably not. So we keep on being human. ((hugs))
okay my 2 cents .........for what it's worth.
My hubby and I are very different people and have been married now 21 years. It has not been always easy but the older we get it has........for many reasons.
But I'm a person that likes and needs quiet and he is a person that loves noise and people to unwind at the end of a work week.....
so one of the things we did out of love and respect for each other was on Fridays, he would go out to friends if he wanted, and I would get the whole house to myself for 3 hours.
He didn't and still doesn't understand my need for quiet but he loves me enough to know this is what I need and it makes me happy.
If you are not getting what you need now you really never from what I have seen of people that have tried it.
This in marriages, for most, will go through some hard times and if you don't start out on even footing..........you are smart enough to know the rest.
Your Poem makes me sad as I see too many people that feel this way but it's up to YOU and no one else to make yourself happy!!!!!!!!!!!
hugs
sorry if I butted in where I wasn't wanted. <3
Your thoughts are always welcome. I've been in my current relationship for going on 11 years. I think P!nk (the musician) once said that long-term relationships are about being willing to come back to the table again and again. There will be hard times, but it's if you're willing to keep working for the relationship that counts. ((hugs))
de seguro vendra algo mejor a tu vida, bellas palabras, suerte
Gracias. 💖
Great soul-search Katrina. These always take something out of us but I think give back more in the end. Wonderful.
Aw, thank you! ((hugs))