A letter to my neighbour

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                                Enough With Your Untidy Gerbils and Bushy Drum Kit
                            
        Dear Mrs Wilson,

I have always felt happy living near to you. You are the most aggressive neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud music.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your gerbils is too untidy and your drum kit way too bushy. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a drumstick

I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud music from upsetting me. I demand that you train the dog then give up drum playing.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your unsightly garden ornament increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a peaceful neighbourhood like Rose Close.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the police and post photos of your loud music on Instagram.

Furthermore, I have close ties with the mafia and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
justadoge