Make day funny (6736z)

I think my car must be Jewish It always needs to be gassed.

A corpse walks into a bar... And asks the bartender for a lemonade. ""Of course!"" says the bartender, ""I've never seen a stiff drink!"" Courtesy of the video game Fable 3.

Me: let's go vegetarian Husband: can we still eat eggs M: of course H: fish? M: obviously H: bacon on special occas- M: we'd be crazy not to

[Next door dog barking] Me: *inserts earpugs* [Barking intensifies] Me: wtf................haha oh *removes earpugs and inserts earplugs*

I'm just a girl, sitting in her car, wondering what the person I texted ""I'm in the cat"" to, is thinking right now.