Make day funny (3236y)

My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together..... I shit you knot.""

I hate broken down white cars on the side of the hwy. They look just like cops when I'm speeding & shitting my pants is getting really old.

what's the deal with hairline food I mean sheariously

I'll refrain from making any jokes about the Ashley Madison controversy... They're such an easy target, it might be considered cheating.

Whenever someone with a bumper sticker cuts me off I automatically dislike the cause they support. Right now I'm not too fond of Literacy