Make day funny (1275u)

What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control? Parents.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his food before it was cool.

Me: I heard Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. Friend: OMg!

I'm a terrible singer, I have two left throats

What do Dallas Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl? They turn off their XBOX and go to bed!