Why do we humans actually lie?

in #humans8 years ago (edited)

View the original post on Musing.io

The reason for which people lie are as numerous as the number of faces on the surface of the earth. Most lies are hinged on fears. Aside that, there are people who have mastered the art of lying such that you would be wrong not to believe them. Humans are great actors. That's why we have movies. People play their roles so well that one would almost mistake it for reality. As such, people lie as a hobby or by default. It's difficult to trust them. This is because their yes could mean no and their no yes. They lead you on with their lies such that you fall for or into their traps. Beware of such people. For those who hide behind fears, there are myriads of reasons why. I'll state some below.

1. Truth has been devalued: We live in a society where lie is rewarded and truth punished. Overtime, people have chosen lies because they want to live. We see people being bribed heavily so they can cover up the misdeeds of others. A person who is a witness to a murder scene could be bribed to shut up for the rest of his life and live or tell the truth and be killed. The person considers the huge sum of money he will be paid for lying, considers his wife who would become a widow sooner than she expected, kids who would be thrown to the harsh reality of not having a father. He considers bills he could settle with that money he's going to be paid to keep his mouth shut, family to cater for, children school fees to be paid. He opts for lie and take care of his problems than to say the truth and still be broke and poor and worse still killed. Pressure of wife and other demands around him will make it difficult for him to make the right decision. A lot of persons have gone to prison for telling truth. Others have died for such reasons too.

2. People love to hear lies. This doesn't sound nice but it is the truth. Truth they say is bitter but lie is sweet. People who know the truth but don't want to accept the reality of such truth or take responsibility for it would prefer lies. Lie destroys yet the little pleasure and relief it brings still make people choose it. A girl who knows that she isn't so good looking still looks forward to a nice compliment about her beauty even though she knows that it is a lie. A boy lies to a girl just so he could sleep with her. She believes his lies because it gives her a good feeling about herself until it becomes too late.

A wise man once said that truth is like a surgery. It's painful but it heals. Lie on the other hand is like pain relief. It reliefs us temporarily of the pain but causes further damage. If people would realize this, they will accept truth at all cost.

3. The truth can't be handled. Not really because it can't be handle per se but for the fact that the people or circumstances makes it just difficult. A man may have to tell lies to his wife about having a pregnant mistress outside his matrimonial home because his legal wife who has had difficulty getting pregnant over the years may not be able to handle the news or the fact that family are mounting pressures on her husband to give them grand children. He can't help it probably because they've talked about the issue in the past without success. He will therefore choose to live with his lies buried but not forever. That's why we see that when a man dies especially in Africa, we begin to hear stories flying in the air of some other women he impregnated or a will from a lawyer stating that he has a son somewhere.

4. Lie is a bail. Lie is a bail out of unpleasant situation. Situations that are sometimes beyond our control? Not really I guess because lie is a choice. If there is someone whom you don't like to have conversations with simply because you don't enjoy their company or like their personality say that he/she is coming over for a visit. Rather than tell the person honestly how you feel about them. Which is the right thing to do. I mean no one should force friendship on another person but no, you just lie that you are not in town because you don't want to sound rude or make the other person feel embarrassed. It's just the easy way out until the other person gets the memo that you really don't want to be with him or her and just back off instead.

5. Security. Lies provide a sort of comfort, like sunshine on a cold morning or a warm blanket against a cold night isn't it. Yes to some degrees we just prefer the warmth and temporary security it brings than the truth that would throw us to the heat of the scorching sun or cold. This is very common where abuse is evident. People have learnt to lie and cover up instead because the truth doesn't favour them. The truth decides their fate to their disadvantage so they would rather lie. A child for instance who gets constants sexual abuse from a step father or physical abuse from a step mother may not want to open up to the truth because they feel that getting the other parent involved, if still alive may lead to more tensions in the home and they will be blamed for that. They just keep enduring until they grow up to become broken adults.

Those who take the choice of opening up may stand the risk of further maltreatment from the person abusing them. Imagine telling your father about physical abuse from a step mother but he delays in taking action because it would mean one losing one of the party involved. He doesn't want to lose the new wife nor does he wants to lose the child. The child has to suffer and endure. What about cases where a man makes sexual advancement to his maid. She might be afraid to tell his wife because whatever the decision is will not be in her favour. She will be thrown out at the end of the day. So she keeps lying, covering up until the truth can no longer be swept under the carpet.

6. Fear of being blamed. Lie has become the easy way out of unpleasant situation for a whole lot of people. Children for instance are guilty of this.They lie to bail themselves out of unpleasant situations. Parents punish kids for wrong doing but fail to reward them for right behavior. When parents for instance promise to not beat a child for saying the truth but end up letting their emotions take charge and doing the opposite of what they promised, children would rather save themselves the headache and lie instead. I've seen situation where an older child lies to cover up for a friend or younger sibling because the punishment may not be right for the offense. They instead take the blame and receive the punishment. I was a teenager baby sitting my niece. She fell from rough play and sustained injuries on the roof of her mouth one afternoon. I was going to receive blames for that as though I should have had the baby tied to my back all day. I already anticipated what was coming. So, I had to lie about how the incident happened to save my neck from the verbal abuse that was to follow.

Lie is bad no matter what. If lie is black and truth is white, grey and off white are lies. People lie every time and for different reasons and in different circumstances. Families have been turn apart by lies. Friends turned asunder by lies. The game of thrones was all built on someone's lies. Those lies led to fights and death of family members and others as well. When we think about the shame and disappointment that results when people find out the truth, we would rather choose truth. Truth may not be pleasant but people will respect you for it. They will hold you in high esteem. They will always listen to you. Lie on the other hand saves us for a while until people find out who we truly are. They stop trusting or believing in us overtime. When we tell them white, they will think it's supposed to be black. Let people get angry for hearing the truth. They will prefer it to the lies they hear from others and bond with you. When they need advise, they will come to you.

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