A scathing comment, an insult, an irony or a simple snub are sometimes, just enough for us to lose control. And that is when the anger manifests to take control of the situation. Suddenly, a heat invades us and we react without thinking. Controlling impulses like these is complex. When it happens, do we stop being ourselves?

These doubts are normal to have them because it is in those circumstances when we act on impulse, for that feeling that is born from within and pushes us to act almost without thinking. That is why controlling impulses is so difficult because they are like a reflex 

Some people get carried away by their impulses easier than others. This is because, as we all know, there are irascible people and calm people. But is it good to be carried away by anger? In some way, we take what we carry inside and release our hatred or contained rage . But, on the other hand, we provoke a conflict and generate more hate. Therefore, what should we do? ¿Contain us?

Many people refrain from saying something when they feel offended and release their resentment by hitting a wall or breaking something they have on hand. But perhaps the solution is beyond what if we avoid that intense expression of the anger feeling ?

If we are able to not be offended when a person provokes us, we will be able to control our anger. The well-known saying: "to foolish words, deaf ears" is the best summary of this attitude.

Therefore, we must realize that when someone tries to offend us or provoke us, they are only insulting themselves; they are being called insolent, disrespectful, immature, etc. If we are able to understand this we will be able to control our anger.

Although it is difficult for us, it is in our hands to choose how to react. Although we think that it is the others who make us angry, who do not alter, in reality, this is not the case. We can choose how to respond. Control impulses like anger are not impossible.

Knowing when to act

It is evident that there are times when neither the most patient person is able to contain themselves or to endure certain insults or offenses. But this is another matter. What we can control are all those intermediate situations and, often, unimportant, of our day to day.

And I'm not saying we should let them humiliate or insult us. I'm just saying that we must know how to handle the situation and not get carried away by emotions. We must control our immediate feelings and know when it is better to be quiet and when we should talk.

We must know when we should smile and when we should refrain from gesturing. All this without placing ourselves in the place of cowardice but not in that of daring. We must place ourselves in another place: that of prudence.

It is not braver the one that screams the most nor the one that says least is the most coward. 

Life teaches us that, often, the most primitive bravery is the greatest cowardice. Learning to manage our emotions, understanding that we can allow ourselves to breathe before responding to an insult or comment that they tell us and that affects us will help us control impulses in an appropriate way.

All this will help us, especially with the emotion of anger. An emotion that can be very harmful because of its negative nature and that can lead to rancor and hatred, or something even worse. If we can with anger we will feel much better because we will have control of the situation.

@jonsnow1983

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