If Programming Languages Were Countries

I originally wrote the following on Quora.com, in response to a question asked by Quora user Denis Tola. Since I usually like to write about obscure topics that garner little interest (or maybe my writing is really bad), I was surprised when this one proceeded to accrue 175,00 views. Something about it struck a chord with programmers ...

Anyway, since I'm new to Steemit, I thought I'd see if you find it amusing, offensive, pointless, or something else .... So here it is!

Disclaimer: all of this is only a joke :)

If Programming Languages Were Countries.....

Java: USA -- optimistic, powerful, likes to gloss over inconveniences.

C++: UK -- strong and exacting, but not so good at actually finishing things and tends to get overtaken by Java.

Python: The Netherlands. "Hey no problem, let'sh do it guysh!"

Ruby: France. Powerful, stylish and convinced of its own correctness, but somewhat ignored by everyone else.

Assembly language: India. Massive, deep, vitally important but full of problems.

Cobol: Russia. Once very powerful and written with managers in mind; but has ended up losing out.

SQL and PL/SQL: Germany. A solid, reliable workhorse of a language.

Javascript: Italy. Massively influential and loved by everyone, but breaks down easily.

Scala: Hungary. Technically pure and correct, but suffers from an unworkable obsession with grammar that will limit its future success.

C: Norway. Tough and dynamic, but not very exciting.

PHP: Brazil. A lot of beauty springs from it and it flaunts itself a lot, but it's secretly very conservative.

LISP: Iceland. Incredibly clever and well-organised, but icy and remote.

Perl: China. Able to do apparently almost anything, but rather inscrutable.

Swift: Japan. One minute it's nowhere, the next it's everywhere and your mobile phone relies on it.

C#: Switzerland. Beautiful and well thought-out, but expect to pay a lot if you want to get seriously involved.

R: Liechtenstein. Probably really amazing, especially if you're into big numbers, but no-one knows what it actually does.

Awk: North Korea. Stubbornly resists change, and its users appear to be unnaturally fond of it for reasons we can only speculate on.

What have I missed out? OK, a ton of countries and programming languages that I'm not even tangentially familiar with, for a start ... let me know!

https://www.quora.com/If-programming-languages-were-countries-which-country-would-each-language-represent