Burning Man

This song is about a friend I think we all have by now. The Conspiracy Theory Friend. This friend will wait for you at a party and force you to watch a video that "proves" George W. Bush orchestrated 9/11. Through the spittle, you sense his unnerving devotion to his crusade, as he grabs you by the arm and says...

Lyrics

Did you see the way Building 7 came down
Like by a demolition crew?
Strange lights were overhead
And they found Thermite residue

I read that on a webpage
By a man named Stan, though I doubt it's his name
Then it crossed linked to a conspiracy blog
They say he killed himself with a hot dog

That sounds like strange suicide
You bet your ass, cuz it's all a big lie
Right now people are building your cage
While you got your head down in a Facebook page

So dig through the Bible or read the Koran
Or drop a few hits at Burning Man
The next time you see lights in the sky
You'll figure it out, as did I, because

Everybody knows there's an alien base under Denver's airport
Eight stories down
And the four-headed dragon
And the Woman Clothed with the Sun
Will consume everyone
(all right, back to the alien base)

It's where they keep Noah's Ark
And they make condoms that glow in the dark
So we can see where to go
They invent useful things
Like the Tea Party and the lava lamp
And suits of velcro

In my heart, these are things that I know are true
And I don't need proof
I don't need proof

Right now your government is in negotiations with alien species, like the Greys and Reptilians, all to press you into service to make condoms that glow in the dark. Why? To facilitate breeding, of course. You ever make love in the dark? Sometimes you lose your way. I'd like to have a condom that glowed in the dark sometimes. Sure, why not? Because sometimes things go in the wrong place when you can't see what you're doing. I think they should make other things that glow in the dark, like a spray. Then you can spray the whole area and really see what's going on.

In my heart, these are things that I know are true
And I don't need proof
I don't need proof
I don't need proof